THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 

OF  CALIFORNIA 

DAVIS 

GIFT  OF 

JOHN  SEKERAK 


By    CHARLES    G.    LELAND 


n 


PHILADELPHIA: 

T.    B.    PETERSON    &    BROTHERS 
30G    CHESTNUT    STREET. 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA 
DAVIS 


I 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1869,  by 
CHARLES  G.  LELAXD, 

in  tho  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Coiirt  of  the  United  States,  in  and 
for  the  Eastern  District  of  Pennsylvania. 


PAGE 


HANS  BREITMANN'S  PARTY,       .                 .  .     5 

BREITMANN  IN  BATTLE,          ...  7 

BREITMANN  IN  MARYLAND,        .                 ..  .12 

BREITMANN  AS  A  BUMMER,    .  .17 

BREITMANN  IN  KANSAS,     ....  22 

DlE    SCHCENE    WlTTWE,      ...  .26 

BREITMANN  AND  THE  TURNERS,  .  .  .28 
BALLAD,  ....  .31 

HANS  BREITMANN'S  CHRISTMAS,        .        .        .33 

DEE  FREISCHUETZ, 41 

HANS  BREITMANN  ABOUT  TOWN,  .  .  .47 
SCHNITZERL'S  PHILOSOPEDE — PARDT  FIRSDT,  .  53 
SCHNITZERL'S  PHILOSOPEDE— PARDT  SECONDT,  55 
A  BALLAD  APOUT  DE  ROWDIES,  .  .  .67 

WEIN  GEIST, .69 

(3) 


4 

HANS  BREITMANN  IN  POLITICS: 

I.  THE  NoMiNATioj^k  ....       72 
II.  THE  COMMITTEE  OP  INSTRUCTION,  .  75 

III.  MR.  TWINE  EXPLAINS  BEING  "  SOUND 

UPON    THE    GOOSE," 78 

IV.  How  BREITMANN  AND  SCHMIT  WERE 

REPORTED  TO  BE  LOG-ROLLING,  .         .  83 
V.  How  THEY  HELD  THE  MASS  MEETING,     87 
VI.  BREITMANN 's  GREAT  SPEECH,          .        .  89 
VII.  THE  AUTHOR  ASSERTS  THE  VAST  IN 
TELLECTUAL  SUPERIORITY  OF  GER 
MANS  TO  AMERICANS,  .        .         .95 
VIII.   SHOWING   How   MR.  HIRAM   TWINE 

"PLAYED  OFF"  ON  SMITH,      .        .98 
GLOSSARY, 107 


Hans  Breitmann's  Party. 


HANS  BREITMANN  gife  a  barty, 
Dey  had  blano-blayin ; 
I  felled  in  lofe  mit  a  Merican  frau, 
Her  name  vas  Madilda  Yane. 
She  hat  haar  as  prowu  ash  a  pretzel, 

Her  eyes  vas  himmel-plue, 
Und  ven  dey  looket  indo  mine, 
Dey  shplit  mine  heart  in  two. 

Hans  Breitmann  gife  a  barty, 

I  vent  dere  you'll  pe  pound. 
I  valtzet  mit  Madilda  Yane 

Und  vent  shpinnen  round  und  round. 
De  pootiest  Fraeulein  in  de  House, 

She  vayed  'pout  dwo  hoondred  pound, 
Und  efery  dime  she  gife  a  shoomp 

She  make  de  vindows  sound. 

Hans  Breitmann  gife  a  barty, 

I  dells  you  it  cost  him  dear. 
Dey  rolled  in  more  ash  sefen  kecks 

Of  foost-rate  Lager  Beer. 
Und  venefer  dey  knocks  de  shpicket  in 

De  Deutschers  gifes  a  cheer. 
I  dinks  dat  so  vine  a  barty, 

Nefer  coom  to  a  het  dis  year. 
(5) 


6 


Hans  Breitmann  gife  a  barty  ; 

Dere  all  vas  Souse  und  Brouse, 
Ven  de  sooper  corned  in,  de  gompany 

Did  make  demselfs  to  house  ; 
Dey  ate  das  Brot  and  Gensy  broost, 

De  Bratwurst  and  Braten  fine, 
Und  vash  der  Abendessen  down 

Mit  four  parrels  of  Neckarwein. 

Hans  Breitmann  gife  a  barty 

We  all  cot  troonk  ash  bigs. 
I  poot  mine  mout  to  a  parrel  of  bier 

Und  emptied  it  oop  mit  a  schwigs. 
Und  denn  I  gissed  Madilda  Yane 

Und  she  shlog  me  on  de  kop, 
Und  de  gompany  fited  mit  daple-lecks 

Dill  de  coonsh table  made  oos  shtop. 

Hans  Breitmann  gife  a  barty — 

Where  ish  dat  barty  now  ! 
Where  ish  de  lofely  golden  cloud 

Dat  float  on  de  moundain's  prow  ? 
Where  ish  de  himmelstrahlende  Stern- 

De  shtar  of  de  shpirit's  light  ? 
All  goned  afay  mit  de  Lager  Beer — 

Afay  in  de  ewigkeit ! 


Breitmannjn  Battle. 

"  (tat  iapfre  ansfajjrm  Jsimium  tt  ^ittm  bigtmm 
poittm  wjagm  lobmrt." 


DEB  FADER  TOD  DEB  SON. 

I  dinks  I'll  go  a  fitin  —  outspoke  der  Breitemann, 
"  It's  eighdeen  hoonderd  fordy  eight  since  I  kits 
swordt  in  hand  ; 

Dese  fourdeen  years  mit  Hecker  all  roostin  I  haf  been, 
Boot,   now    I    kicks   der    Teufel    oop    and    goes    for 
sailin  in." 

"  If  you  go  land  out-ridin,"  said  Caspar  Pickletongue, 
"  Foost  ding  you  knows  you  cooms  across  some  repels 

prave  and  young, 
Away  down   Sout'  in   Tixey,   dey'll  split  you  like  a 

clam"  — 
"  For   dat,"    spoke   out   der  Breitmann,  "  I  doos  not 

gare  one  tarn  !" 

Who  der  Teufel  pe's  de  repels  und  vhere  dey  kits  deir 


If  dey  make  a  run  on  Breitmann  he'll  soon  let  out  de 

gas; 

I'll  shplit  dem  like  kartoffels  :  I'll  slog  em  on  de  kop ; 
I'll  set  de  plackguarts  roonin  so  dey  don't  know  vhere 

to  shtop." 

(7) 


8 

Und  den  outshpoke  der  Breitmann,  mit  his  schlaeger  py 

his  side : 
"-Forvarts,  my  pully  landsmen  !  it's  dime  to  run  und 

ride ; 

Will  riden,  will  fighten — der  Copitain  I'll  pe,  [rie  I" 
It's  sporn  und  horn  und  saddle  now — all  in  de  Cavall- 

Und  ash  dey  rode  troo  Winchester,  so  herrlich  to  pe 

seen, 

Dere  coomed  some  repel  cavallrie  a  riden  on  de  creen  ; 
Mit  a  sassy  repel  Dootchman — an  colonel  in  gommand  : 
Says  he,  "  Vot  Teufel  makes  you  here  in  dis  mein 

Faderland  ? 

"  You're  dressed  oop  like  a  shentleman  mit  your  plack- 

guard  Yankee  crew, 

You  mudsills  and  meganics  !  Der  Teufel  put  you  troo  ! 
Old  Yank  you  ought  to  shtay  at  home  und  dake  your 

liddle  horn, 
Mit  some  oldt  voomans  for  a  noorse" — der  Breitmann 

laugh  mit  shkorn. 

"  Und  should  I  trink  mein  lager-bier  und  roost  mine 
self  to  home  ?  [thoom  : 

Ife  got  too  many  dings  like  you  to  mash  beneat'  my 

In  many  a  fray  und  fierce  foray  dis  Deutschman  will  be 
feared  [his  peard.''" 

Pefore  he  stops  dis  vightin  trade — 'twas  dere  he  greyed 


9 

"  I  pools  dat  peard  out  by  de  roots — I  gifes  him  sooch 
a  dwist  [tionist ! 

Dill  all  de   plood  roons  out,  you   tamned   old  Apoli- 

Your  creenpacks  mit  your  swordt  und  watch  right  ofer 
you  moost  shell,  [h-11 !" 

Und  den  you  goes  to  Libby  straight — und  after  dat  to 

"  Mein  creenpacks  und  mein  schlaeger,  I  kits  'em  in 
New  York,  [talk;" 

To  gife  dem  up  to  creenhorns,  young  man,  is  not  de 

De  heroes  shtopped  deir  sassin'  here  und  grossed  deir 
sabres  dwice, 

Und  de  vay  dese  Deutschers  vent  to  vork  vos  von  pig 
ding  on  ice. 

Der  younger  fetch  de  older  such  a  gottallmachty  smack 
Der  Breitmann  dinks  he  really  hears  his  skool  go  shplit 

und  crack ; 
Der  repel  choomps  dwelfe  paces  back,  und  so  he  safe 

his  life  : 
Der   Breitmann   says  :    "I   guess   dem   choomps    you 

learns  dem  of  yourvife." 

"  If  I  should  learn  of  vomans  I  dinks  it  vere  a  shame, 
Bei  Gott  I  am  a  shentleman,  aristograt,  and  game. 
My  fader  vos  anoder — I  lose  him  fery  young — 
Ter  teufel  take  your  soul  !   Coom  on  !  I'll  split  your 
waggin'  tongue  I" 
2 


10 

A  Yankee  drick  der  Breitmann  dried — dat  oldt  gray- 
pearded  man —  [he  ran. 

For  ash  the  repel  raised  his  swordt,  beneat'  dat  swordt 

All  roundt  der  shlim  yoong  repel's  waist  his  arms  oldt 
Breitmann  pound, 

Und  shlinged  him  down  oopon  his  pack  und  laidt  him 
on  der  ground. 

"  Who  rubs  against  olt  kittle-pots  may  keep  vite — if  he 
can,  [man  ? 

Say  vot  you  dinks  of  vightin  now  mit  dis  old  shentle- 

Your  dime  is  oop;  you  got  to  die,  und  I  your  breest 
vill  pe  ; 

Peliev'st  dou  in  Moral  Ideas  ?  If  so  I  lets  you  free." 

"  I  don't  know  nix  apout  Ideas — no   more  dan  pout 

Saint  Paul. 

Since  I  peen  down  in  Tixey  I  kits  no  books  at  all ; 
I'm    greener  ash   de  clofer-grass ;    I'm   shtupid  as  a 

shpoon ; 
I'm  ignoranter  ash  de  nigs — for  dey  takes  de  Tribune. 

"  Mein  fader's  name  vas  Breitmann,  I  heard  mein  mut 
ter  say, 

She  read  de  bapers  dat  he  died  after  she  rooned  afay ; 
Dey  say  he   leaf  some  broperty — berhaps  'twas  all  a 

sell— 
If  I  could  lay  mein  hands  on  it  I  likes  it  mighty  well/' 


11 

t(  Und  vas  dy  fader  Breitmann  ?  Bist  du  his  kit  und  kin  ? 
Derm  know  dat  ich  dcr  Breitmann  dein  lieber  Vater  bin?" 
Der  Breitmann  poolled  his  hand-shoe  off  und  shocked 

him  py  de  hand ; 
"  Ve'll  hafe  some  trinks  on  strengt  of  dis — or  else  may 

I  pe  tam'd  !" 

"  Oh  !   fader,  how  I  shlog   your   kop,"   der  younger 

Breitmann  said ; 
"  I'd  den  dimes  sooner  had  it  coom  right  down  on  mine 

own  headt !" 
"  Oh,  never  mind — dat  soon  dry  oop — I  shticks  him  mit 

a  blaster ;  [der." 

If  I  had  shplit  you  like  a  fish,  dat  vere  an  vorse  tisas- 

Dis  fight  did  last  all  afternoon — wohl  to  de  fesper  tide, 
Und  droo  de  streeds  of  Vinchesder,  der  Breitmann  he 

did  ride.  [tory  ! 

Vot  vears  der  Breitmann  on  his  hat  ?  De  plooni  of  fic- 
Who's  dat  aridin'  py  his  side  ?  u  Dis  here's  mem  son/' 

says  he. 

How  stately  rode  der  Breitmann  oop  ! — how  lordly  he 
kit  down  ?  [prown  I 

How  glorious  from  de  great  pokal  he  drink  de  bier  so 

But  der  Yunger  bick  der  parrel  oop  und  schwig  him 
all  at  one.  [mein  son  !" 

"  Bei  Gott !  dat  settles  all  dis  dings — I  know  dou  art 


12 

Der  one  has  got  a  fader  ;  de  oder  found  a  child. 

Bote  ride  oopon  one  war-path  now  in  pattle  fierce  und 
wild. 

It  makes  so  glad  our  hearts  to  hear  dat  dcy  did  so  suc 
ceed — 

Und  damit  hat  sein'  Ende  DES  JUNGEN  BREITMANN'S 
LIED. 


Breitmann  in  Maryland. 


DER  Breitmann  mit  his  gompany, 
Rode  out  in  Marylandt. 
"  Dere's  nichts  to  trink  in  dis  countrie ; 
Mine  treat's  as  dry  as  sand. 
It's  light  canteen  und  haversack, 
It's  hoonger  mixed  init  doorst; 
Und  if  we  had  some  lager-bier 
I'd  trink  oontil  I  boorst. 

Gling,  glang,  gloria  ! 
We'd  trink  oontil  we  boorst. 


13 


"  Herr  Leut'nant,  take  a  dozen  men, 

Und  ride  dis  land  around  ! 
Herr  Feldwebel,  go  foragin' 

Dill  somedings  goot  is  found. 
Gotts-doonder !  men,  go  ploonder! 

We  hafn't  trinked  a  bit 
Dis  fourdeen  hours  !  If  I  had  bier 

I'd  sauf  oontil  I  shplit ! 
Gling,  glang,  gloria  ! 

We'd  sauf  oontil  we  shplit !" 

At  mitternacht  a  horse's  hoofs 

Coom  rattlin'  troo  de  camp ; 
"  Rouse  dere  ! — coom  rouse  der  house  dere  ! 

Herr  Copitain — we  moost  tromp  ! 
De  scouds  have  found  a  repel  town, 

Mit  repel  davern  near, 
A  repel  keller  in  de  cround, 

Mit  repel  lager  bier !  ! 
Gling,  glang,  gloria  ! 

All  fool  of  lager-bier  ! 

G-ottsdonnerkreuzschockschwerenoth  ! 

How  Breitmann  broked  de  bush  ! 
"  0  let  me  see  dat  lager  bier ! 

0  let  me  at  him  rush  ! 
Und  is  mein  sabre  sharp  und  true, 

Und  is  rnein  war-horse  goot  ? 


14 

To  get  one  quart  of  lager  bier 
I'd  shpill  a  sea  of  ploot. 
Q-ling,  glang,  gloria  ! 
I'd  shpill  a  sea  of  ploot. 


"  Fuenf  hoonderd  repels  hold  de  down, 

One  hoonderd  strong  are  we  ; 
Who  gares  a  tarn  for  all  de  odds 

Wenn  men  so  dirsty  pe." 
And  in  dey  smashed  and  down  dey  crashed, 

Like  donder-polts  dey  fly, 
Rush  fort  as  der  wild  yaeger  cooms 

Mit  blitzen  troo  de  shky. 
Gling,  glang,  gloria  ! 

Like  blitzen  troo  de  shky. 

How  flewed  to  rite,  how  flewd  to  left 

De  moundains,  drees  unt  hedge  ; 
How  left  und  rite  de  yaeger  corps 

Went  donderin  troo  de  pridge. 
Und  splash  und  splosh  dey  ford  de  shtream 

Where  not  some  pridges  pe  : 
All  dripplin  in  de  moondlight  peam 

Stracks  went  de  cavallrie  ! 
Gling,  glang,  gloria  ! 

Der  Breitmann's  cavallrie. 


15 


Und  hoory,  hoory  on  dey  rote, 

Oonheedin  vet  or  try  ; 
Und  horse  und  rider  shnort  und  blowed, 

Und  shparklin  bepples  fly. 
Ropp  !  ropp  !  I  shmell  de  barley-prew  ! 

Dere's  somedings  goot  ish  near. 
Ropp  !    Ropp  ! — I  scent  de  kneiperei ; 

We've  got  to  lager  bier  ! 
Gling,  glang  gloria  ! 

We've  got;  to  lager  bier  ! 

Hei !  how  de  carpine  pullets  klinged 

Oopon  de  helmets  hart  ! 
Oh,  Breitmann — how  dy  sabre  ringed; 

Du  alter  Knasterbart ! 
De  contrapands  dey  sing  for  choy 

To  see  de  rebs  go  down, 
Und  hear  der  Breitmann  grimly  gry  : 

Hoorah  ! — we've  dook  de  down. 
Gling,  glang,  gloria ! 
Victoria,  victoria  ! 

De  Dootch  have  dook  de  down. 

Mid  shout  and  crash  and  sabre  flash, 

And  wild  husaren  shout 
De  Dootchmen  boorst  de  keller  in, 

Unt  rolled  de  lager  out ; 


16 


And  in  the  coorlin  powder  shmoke, 

While  shtill  de  pullets  sung. 
Dere  shtood  der  Breitmann,  axe  in  hand, 
A  knockin  out  de  boong. 
Gling,  glang,  gloria  ! 
Victoria !  Encoria  ! 
De  shpicket  beats  de  boong. 

Gotts  !  vot  a  shpree  der  Breitmann  had 

While  yet  his  hand  was  red, 
A  trinkin  lager  from  his  poots 

Among  de  repel  tead. 
Twas  dus  dey  went  at  mitternight 

Along  der  moundain  side  ; 
'Twas  dus  dey  help  make  history  ! 
Dis  was  der  Breitmann's  ride. 
Gling,  glang,  gloria ; 
Victoria !  Victoria  ! 
Cer'visia,  encoria  ? 
De  treadful  mitnight  ride 
Of  Breitmann's  wild  Freischarlinger, 
All  famous,  broad,  und  wide. 


Breitmann  as  a  Bummer. 


DER  Sheueral  Sherman  holts  oop  on  his  coorse. 
He  shtops  at  de  gross-road  und  reins  in  his  horse . 
"  Dere's  a  ford  on  de  rifer  dis  day  we  moost  dake, 
Or  elshe  de  grand  army  in  bieces  shall  preak  !" 
Yen  shoost  ash  dis  vord  from  his  lips  had  gone  bast, 

There  coomed  a  young  orterly  gallopin  fast, 
Who grymit amazement:  "Here  Shen'ral!  GootLord  ! 
Dat  bummer  der  Breitmann  isli  lioldin  der  ford!" 

Der  Shen'ral  he  ootered  no  hymn  und  no  psalm, 

But  opened  his  lips  und  he  priefiy  say  "  D n  ! 

Dere  moost  hafe  been  viskey  on  dat  side  der  rifer ; 

To  get  it  dose  shaps  would  set  hell  in  a  shiver, 
But  now  dat  dey  hold  it,  ride  quick  to  deir  aid  : 

Ho  Sickles  !  move  promp'ly,  send  down  a  prigade 
Dat  Dootchman  moost  work  mighty  hard  mit  his  sword 

If  againsd  a  whole  army  he  holds  to  de  ford." 

Dey  spoored  on,  dey  hoory'd  on,  gallopin  shtraight, 

But  for  Breitmann  help  coomed  shust  a  liddle  too  late, 
For  ash  de  Lauwine  goes  smash  mit  her  pound, 

So  on  to  de  Bummers  de  repels  coom  down  : 
Heinrich  von  Schinkenstein's  tead  in  de  road, 

Dieterich  Hinkelbein's  flat  ash  a  toad  • 
Und  Sepperl — Tyroler — shpoke  nefer  a  vord, 

But  shoost  "Mutter   Gottes  /"—und  died  in  de  ford. 
3  (17) 


18 

Itsch'l  of  Innspruck  ish  drilled  troo  de  hair, 

Einer  aus  Bceblingen — he  too  vash  dere — 
Karli  of  Karlisruh's  shot  near  de  fence, 

(His  horse  vash  o'erloadet  mit  toorkies  und  hens.) 
Und  dough  he  like  a  ravin  mad  cannibal  fought, 

Yet  der  Breitmann-der  capt'n-der  hero  vash  caught ; 
Und  de  last  dings  ve  saw,  he  was  tied  mit  a  cord, 

For  de  repels  had  goppled  him  oop  at  de  ford. 

Dey  shtripped  off  his  goat  und  skyugled  his  poots, 

Dey  dressed  him  mit  rags  of  a  repel  recruits ; 
But  von  grey-haared  oldt  veller  shmiled  crimly  und  bet 

Dat  Breitman  vouldt  pe  a  pad  egg  for  dem,  yet. 
"  He  has  more  on  his  pipe  as  dem  vellers  allows ; 

He  has  cardts  yet  in  hand  und  das  Spiel  ist  nicht  aws, 
Dey '11  find  dat  dey  took  in  der  teufel  to  board, 

De  day  dey  pooled  Breitmann  well  ofer  de  ford." 

In  de  Bowery  each  bier-haus  mit  crape  vas  oop- done, 

Ven  dey  read  in  de  bapers  dat  Breitmann  vas  gone; 
Und  de  Dootch  all  cot  troonk  oopon  lager  und  wein, 

At  the  great  Trauer-fest  of  de  Toorner  Verein 
Derc  vas  wein-en  mit  weinen  ven  beoples  did  dink 

Dat  Sherman's  great  Sherman  cood  nefer  more  trink. 
Und  in  Villiam  Shtreet  veepin  und  vailen  vas  hoor'd, 

Pecause  der  Hans  Breitmann  vas  lost  at  de  ford. 


SECONDT    PARDT. 


IN~  dulcejubilo  now  ve  all  sings, 
A-waivin  de  panners  like  avery  dings. 
De  preeze  troo  de  bine-drees  ish  cooler  und  salt, 
Und  der  Shen'ral  is  merry  venefer  ve  halt; 
Loosty  und  merry  he  schmells  at  de  preeze, 
Lustig  und  heiter  he  looks  troo  de  drees, 
Lustig  und  heiter  ash  veil  he  may  pe, 

For  Sherman,  at  last,  has  marched  down  to  the  sea  I 

Dere's  a  gry  from  de  guart— dere's  a  clotter  und  drainp, 

Yen  dat  fery  same  orterly  rides  troo  de  camp, 
Who  report  on  de  ford.     Dere  ish  droples  and  awe 

In  de  face  of  de  youf '  apout  somedings  he  saw; 
Und  he  shpeak  me  in  Frsentsch,  like  he  always  do  : 
"  Look  !  [his  spook  1 

Sagre  pleu  !  fentre   Tieu  ! — dere  ish  Breitmann — 
He  ish  gorning  dis  way  !  Nom  de  garce  !  can  it  pe 

Dat  de  spooks  of  te  tead  men  coom  down  to  de  sea  !" 

Und  ve  looks,  und  ve  sees,  und  ve  tremples  mit  tread. 

For  risin'  all  swart  on  de  efenin  red 
Vas  Johannes — der  Breitmann — der  war  es,  bei  Gott ! 

Coom  ridin  to  oos-ward,  right  shtrait  to  de  shpot ! 
All  mouse-still  ve  shtood,  yet  mit  oop-shoompin  hearts, 

For  he  look  shoost  so  pig  ash  de  shiant  of  de  Hartz ; 
Und  I  heard  de  Sout  Deutschers  say  "Ave  Morie  ! 

Braise  Gott  all  goot  shpirids  py  land  und  py  sea !" 
(19) 


20 

Boot  Itzig  of  Frankfort  he  lift  oop  his  nose, 

Und  be-mark  dat  de  shpook  hat  peen  changin  his 

clothes, 
For  he  seemed  like  an  Generalissimus  drest 

In  a^vlamin  new  coat  and  magnificent  vest. 
Six  bistols  beschlagen  mit  silber  he  wore, 

Und  a  gold  mounted  swordt  like  an  Kaisar  he  bore, 
Und  ve  dinks  dat  de  ghosdt — or  votever  he  pe — 

Moost  hafe  proken  some  panks  on  his  vay  to  de  sea. 


«  Id  is  he  !"  "  Und  er  kit  noch  !  he  lifes,"  ve  all  say  : 

Der   Breitmann — Oldt   Breitmann  ! — Hans   Breit- 

mann  !  Ilerr  Je  !" 
Und  ve  roosh  to  emprace  him,  and  shtill  more  ve  find 

Dat  vherefer  he'd  peen,  he'd  left  noding  pehind. 
In  bote  of  his  poots  dere  vas  porte-moneys  crammed, 

Mit  creen-packs  stoof  full  all  his  haversack  jammed, 
In  his  bockets  cold  dollars  were  shmglin'  deir  doons 

Mit  two  doozen  votches  und  four  doozen  shpoons, 
Und  dwo  silber  tea-pods  for  makiu'  his  dea, 

Der  ghosdt  hafe  pring  mit  him,  en  route  to  de  sea. 

Mit  goot  sweed-botatoes,  und  doorkies,  und  rice, 
Ve  makes  him  a  sooper  of  avery  dings  nice. 

Und  de  bummers  hoont  roundt  apout,  alle  wie  ein, 
Dill  dey  findt  a  plantaschion  mit  parrels  of  wein. 


21 

Den  t'vas  "  here's  to  you,  Breitmann  !  Alt  Schwcd' — 

bist  zuruck  f 
Yot  teufels  you  makes  since   dis  fourteen   nights 

week?" 

Und  ve  holds  von  shtupendous  und  derriple  shpree 
For  choy  dat  der  Breitmann  has  got  to  de  sea. 

But  in  fain  tid  ve  ashk  vhere  der  Breitmann  hat  peen, 
Vot  he  tid ;  vot  he  pass  troo — or  vot  he  might  seen  ? 

Vhere  he  kits  his  vine  horse,  or  who  gafe  him  dem 
woons, 

Und  how  Brovidence  plessed  him  mit  tea-pods  und 
shpoons? 

For  to  all  of  dem  queeries  he  only  reblies 

"  If  you  dells  me  no  quesdions,  I  ashks  you  no  lies  I" 

So  'twas  glcar  dat  some  derriple  mysh'dry  moost  pe 
Vhere  he  kits  all  dat  ploonder  he  prings  to  de  sea. 

Dere  ish  bapers  in  Richmond  dells  derriple  lies 

How  Sherman's  grand  arrnee  hafe  raise  deir  sooplies : 
For  ve  readt  in  brindt  dat  der  Sheneral  Grant 

Say  de  bummers  hafe  only  shoost  dake  vat  dey  vant. 
But  'tis  vhispered  dat  vhile  a  refolfer'll  go  round 

Der  BREITMANN  vill  nefer  a  peggin'  be  found ; 
Or  shtarvin'  ash  brisner — by  doonder  ! — not  he, 

Vhile  der  teufel  could  help  him  to  ged  to  de  sea. 


Breitmann  in  Kansas. 

YONCE  oopon  a  dimes,  goot  vhile  afder  der  war 
vas  ofer,  der  Herr  Breitmann  vent  oud  West, 
drafellin    apout    like    afery    dings — "  circuivit 
terram  et  perambulavit  earn"  ash  der  Tyfel  said  ven 
dey  ask  him  :  "  how  vash  you  and  how  you  has  peen  ?" 
Yon  efenings  he   vas   drafel   mit  some   ladies  und 
shendlemans,  und  he  shtaid  incognitus.  Und  dey  singed 
songs,  dill  py  und  py  one  of  de  ladies  say  :    "  Ish  any 
podies  here  ash  know  de  crate  pallad  of  Hans  Breit- 
rnann's  Barty  ?"     Den  Hans  say  :     "  Ecce    Gallus  !   I 
am  dat  rooster !"     Den  der  Hans  dook  a  trink  und  a 
let-bencil  und  a  biece  of  baper,  and  goes  indo  himself 
a  little  dimes  und  denn  coomes  out  again  mit  dis  boeni : 
Hans  Breitmann  vent  to  Kansas ; 

He  drafel  fast  und  far. 
He  rided  shoost  drei  dousand  miles 

All  in  von  r'ail-roat  car. 
He  knowed  foost  rate  how  far  he  goed — 

He  gounted  all  de  vile. 
Dere  vash  shoost  one  bottle  of  champagne, 

Dat  bopped  at  efery  mile. 
Hans  Breitmann  vent  to  Kansas ; 

I  dell  you  vot  my  poy. 
You  bet  dey  hat  a  pully  dimes 
In  crossin  Illinoy. 
(22) 


23 


Dey  speaked  dere  speaks  to  all  de  folk 

A  shtandin  in  de  car ; 
Den  ask  dem  in  to  dake  a  trink, 

Und  corned  em  ganz  und  gar. 

Hans  Breitmann  vent  to  Kansas  j 
By  shings  !  dey  did  it  prown. 

Ven  he  cot  into  Leafenvort, 
He  found  himself  in  town. 

Dey  dined  him  at  de  Blanter's  House, 
More  goot  as  man  could  dink; 

Mit  avery  dings  on  eart  to  eat, 
Und  dwice  as  mooch  to  trink. 

Hans  Breitmann  vent  to  Kansas ; 

He  vent  it  on  de  loud. 
At  Ellsvort,  in  de  prairie  land, 

He  foundt  a  pully  crowd. 
He  looked  for  bleedin'  Kansas, 

But  dat's  "  blayed  out,"  dey  say ; 
De  whisky  keg's  de  only  dings 

Dat's  bleedin'  der  to-day. 

Hans  Breitmann  vent  to  Kansas, 

To  see  vot  he  could  hear. 
He  foundt  soom  Deutschers  dat  exisdt 

Py  makin'  lager  bier. 


24 

Says  he:  "  Wie  gehts  du  Alt  Gesell?" 

But  no  dings  could  be  heard ; 
Dey'd  growed  so  fat  in  Kansas 

Dat  dey  couldn't  speak  a  vord. 

Hans  Breitmann  vent  to  Kansas  ; 

Py  shings  !  I  dell  you  vot. 
Von  day  he  met  a  crisly  bear 

Dat  rooshed  him  down,  lei  Gott ! 
Boot  der  Breitmann  took  und  bind  der  bear, 

Und  bleased  him  fery  much — 
For  efery  vordt  der  crisly  growled 

Yas  goot  Bavarian  Dutch  ! 

Hans  Breitmann  vent  to  Kansas  ! 

By  donder  dat  is  so  ! 
He  ridet  out  upon  de  plains 

To  shase  de  boofalo. 
He  fired  his  rifle  at  the  bools, 

Und  gallop  troo  de  shmoke, 
Und  shoomp  de  canyons  shoost  as  if 

Der  tyfel  vas  a  choke  ! 

It's  hey  de  trail  to  Santa  Fe ; 

It's  ho  !   agross  de  plain. 
It's  lope  along  de  Denver  road, 

Until  we  toorn  again. 


25 

Und  de  railroad  dravel  after  us 

Apout  as  quick  as  we ; 
Dis  Kansas  ish  de  fastest  land 

Ash  efer  I  did  see. 

Hans  Breitmann  vent  to  Kansas  ; 

He  have  a  pully  dime ; 
Bu  'tvas  in  oldt  Missouri 

Dat  dey  rooshed  him  up  sublime. 
Dey  took  him  to  der  Bilot  Nob, 

Und  all  der  nobs  around ; 
Dey  spreed  him  und  dey  tea'd  him 

Dill  dey  roon  him  to  de  ground. 

Hans  Breitmann  vent  to  Kansas ; 

Troo  all  dis  earthly  land, 
A  vorkin  out  life's  mission  here 

Soobyectifly  und  grand. 
Some  beoblesh  runs  de  beautiful, 

Some  works  philosophie j 
Der  Breitmann  solfe  de  infinide 

Ash  von  eternal  shpree  ! 
4 


Die  Schcene  Wittwe, 


(DE  POOTY  VIDDER.) 

Vot  de  Yankes  Chap  sung. 

AT  pooty  liddle  vidder 

Vot  we  dosh'nt  vish  to  name, 
Ish  still  leben  on  dat  liddle  shtreet 

A-doin'  shuss  de'  same. 
De  glerks  aroundt  de  gorners 

Somedimes  goes  round  to  zee 
How  die  tarlin  liddle  vitchy  ees, 

Und  ask  'er  how  she  pe. 
Dey  lofes  her  ver'  goot  liquoer, 

Dey  lofes  her  liddle  shtore; 
Dey  lofes  her  liddle  paby, 

But  dey  lofes  die  vidder  more. 
To  dalk  mit  dat  shveet  vidder, 

Yen  she  hands  das  lager  round, 
Vill  make  der  shap  dat  does  id 

Pe  happy,  ve'll  be  pound. 
Dat  ish  if  ve  can  veil  pelieve 

De  glerks  vat  drinks  das  peer, 
Who  goes  in  dere  for  noding  elshe, 

Put  simply  for  to  zee  her." 
(26) 


27 
How  der  Breitmann  cut  him  out. 


On  yes  I  know  die  wittwe, 
Mit  eyes  so  prite  und  proun ! 
She's  de  allerschoenste  wittwe 

Vot  live  in  dis  here  town. 
In  her  plack  silk  gown — mine  grashious  !• 

All  puttoned  to  de  neck — 
Und  a  pooty  liddle  collar, 

Mitout  a  shpot  or  shpeck. 
Ho  !  clear  de  drack  you  oder/raws — 

Ymi  cant  pegin  to  shine 
Yen  de  lofely  vidder  cooras  along — 

Dis  vidder  ash  ish  mine ! 
Ho !  clear  de  drack  you  Yankee  chaps, 

You  Englishers  und  sooch. 
You  cant  pegin  to  coot  me  out, 

Mit  out  you  dalks  in  Dootch. 
Ich  hab  die  schoene  wittwe 

Schon  lange  nit  gesehn, 
Ich  sah  sie  gestern  Ahend 

Wohl  bei  dem  Counter  stehn. 
Die  Wangen  rein  wie  Milch  und  Blut, 

Die  Augen  hell  und  klar. 
Ich  hab  sie  sechsmal  auch  gekusst — 

Potztausend !  das  ist  wahr. 


Breitmann  and  the  Turners. 

HANS  BREITMANN  choined  de  Turners 
Novemper  in  de  fall, 
Und  dey  gifed  a  boostin'  bender 
All  in  de  Toorner  Hall. 
Dere  coomed  de  whole  Gesangverein 

Mit  der  Liederlich  Aepfel  Chor, 
Und  dey  blowed  on  de  drooms  und  stroomed 

on  de  fifes 
Till  dey  couldn't  refife  no  more. 

Hans  Breitmann  choined  de'Toorners, 

Dey  all  set  oop  some  shouts, 
Dey  took'd  him  into  deir  Toorner  Hall, 

Und  poots  him  a  course  of  shprouts, 
Dey  poots  him  on  de  barrell-hell  pars 

Und  shtands  Mm  oop  on  his  head, 
Und  dey  poomps  de  beer  mit  an  enchine  hose 

In  his  mout'  dill  he's  'pout  half'tead  ! 

Hans  Breitmann  choined  de  Toorners ; — 

Dey  make  shimnastig  dricks 
He  stoot  on  de  middle  of  de  floor, 

Und  put  oop  a  fifdy-six. 
Und  den  he  trows  it  to  de  roof, 

Und  schwig  off  a  tread  ful  trink  : 
De  veight  coorn  toomple  pack  on  his  headt, 

Und  py  shinks !  he  didn't  vink  1 
(28) 


29 


Hans  Breitmann  choined  de  Toorners  : — 

Mem  Gott !  how  dey  drinked  und  shwore 
Dere  vas  Schwabians  und  Tyrolers, 

Und  Bavarians  by  de  score. 
Some  vellers  coomed  from  de  Rheinland, 

Und  Frankfort-on-de-Main, 
Boot  dere  vas  only  von  Sharman  dere, 

Und  lie  vas  a  Holstein  Dane. 


Hans  Breitmann  choined  de  Toorners, 

Mit  a  Limpurg'  cheese  he  coom; 
Yen  he  open  de  box  it  schmell  so  loudt 

It  knock  de  musik  doomb. 
Yen  de  Deutschers  kit  de  flavor, 

It  coorl  de  haar  on  dere  head  j 
Boot  dere  vas  dwo  Amerigans  dere; 

Und,  py  tarn  !  it  kilt  dem  dead  ! 

Hans  Breitmann  choined  de  Toorners; 

De  ladies  coomed  in  to  see ; 
Dey  poot  dem  in  de  blace  for  de  gals, 

All  in  der  gal-lerie. 
Dey  ashk  :   "  Yhere  ish  der  Breitmann  ?' 

And  dey  dremple  mit  awe  and  fear 
Yen  dey  see  him  schwingen  py  de  toes, 

A  trinken  lager  bier. 


30 

Hans  Breitmann  choined  de  Toorners : — 

I  dells  you  vot  py  tarn  ! 
Dey  sings  de  great  Urbummellied  : 

De  holy  Sharman  psalm. 
Und  ven  dey  kits  to  de  gorus 

You  ought  to  hear  dem  dramp  ! 
It  scared  der  Teufel  down  below 

To  hear  de  Dootchmen  stamp. 

Hans  Breitmann  choined  de  Toorners : — 

By  Donner  !  it  vas  grand, 
Vhen  de  whole  of  dem  goes  a  valkin' 

Und  dancin'  on  dere  hand, 
Mit  de  veet  all  wavin'  in  de  air, 

Gottstausend  !  vot  a  dricks  ! 
Dill  der  Breitmann  fall  und  dey  all  go  down 

Shoost  like  a  row  of  bricks. 

Hans  Breitmann  choined  de  Toorners, 

Dey  lay  dere  in  a  heap, 
And  slept  dill  de  early  sonnen  shine 

Come  in  at  de  window  creep; 
And  de.  preeze  it  vake  dem  from  deir  dream, 

And  dey  go  to  kit  deir  feed : 
Here  hat'  dis  song  an  Ende — 

Das  ist  DES  BREITMANNSLIED. 


'    Ballad. 


D 


ER  noble  Hitter  Hugo 

Yon  Schwillensaufenstein, 
Rode  out  mit  shpeer  and  helmet, 
Und  lie  coom  to  de  panks  of  de  Rhino. 


Und  oop  dere  rose  a  meer  maid, 
Yot  hadn't  got  nodings  on, 

Und  she  say,  "  Oh,  Ritter  Hugo, 
Yhere  you  goes  mit  yourself  alone  ?" 

And  he  says,  "I  rides  in  de  creenwood 
Mit  helmet  und  mit  shpeer, 

Till  1  cooms  into  em  G-asthaus, 
Und  dere  I  trinks  some  beer." 

Und  den  outshpoke  de  maiden 
Yot  hadn't  got  nodings  on  : 
"  I  tont  dink  mooch  oi  beoplesh 
Dat  goes  mit  demselfs  alone. 

"  You'd  petter  coom  down  in  de  wasser, 

Yere  deres  heaps  of  dings  to  see, 
Und  hafe  a  shplendid  tinner 
Und  drafel  along  mit  me. 

31) 


32 


"  Dere  you  sees  de  fisch  a  scliwimmin, 

Und  you  catches  dem  efery  one  •:" — 
So  sang  dis  wasser  maiden 
Yot  hadn't  got  nodings  on. 

"  Dere  ish  drunks  all  full  mit  money 

In  ships  dat  vent  down  of  old; 
Und  you  helpsh  yourself,  by  dunder ! 
To  shimmerin  crowns  of  gold. 

"  Shoost  look  at  dese  shpoons  und  vatches ! 

Shoost  see  dese  diamant  rings  ! 
Coom  down  und  full  your  bockets, 
Und  I'll  giss  you  like  avery  dings. 

u  Vot  you  vantsh  mit  your  schnapps  und  lager? 

Coom  down  into  der  Rhine  ! 
Der  ish  pottles  der  Kaiser  Charlemagne 
Vonce  filled  mit  gold-red  wine !" 

Dat  fetched  him — he  shtood  all  shpell  pound ; 

She  pooled  his  coat-tails  down, 
She  drawed  him  oonder  der  wasser, 

De  maidens  mit  nodings  on. 


Hans  Breitmann's  Christmas. 


'Hsec  est  ilia  bonn  dies 
Et  vocata  Isetn  quits 
Vina  sitientibiis. 


"Nullm  metus,  nee  labores, 
Nulla  cura,  nee  dolores, 
Sint  in  hoc  symposia." 


[De  Generibus  Ebriosorum,  Francoforti  ad  Moenum,  A.  D.  1565.] 

ID  vas  on  Weihnachtsabend — vot  Ghristmas  Efe  dey 
call— 
Der  Breitmann  mit  his  Breitmen  tid  rent  de  Musik 

Hall; 
Ash  de  Breitmen  und  die  vomen  who  were  in  de  Lie- 

derkranz 

Youldt  plend  deir  souls  in  harmonic  to  have  a  bleasin 
tantz. 

Dey  reefed  de  Hall  'mid  pushes  so  nople  to  be  seen, 
Aroundt  Beethoven's  buster  dey  on-did  a  garlandt  creen ; 
De  laties  vork  like  tyfels  two  days  to  scroob  de  vloor, 
Und  hanged  a  crate  serenity  mit  Willkomm !  oop  de  toor ! 

Und  vhile  dere  vas  a  Schwein-blatt  whose  redakteur  tid 

say: 

Dat  Breitmann  he  vas  liederlich  vet  antworded  dis  away, 
Ye  maked  anoder  serenity  mid  ledders  plue  und  red  : 
"  Our  Leader  lick  de  repels  !  N.  G."  (enof  gesaid.) 

Und  anoder  serene   dransparency  ve   make  de  veller 

baint, 
Boot  de  vay  he  potch  und  vertyfeled  it  vas  enof  to 

shvear  a  saint, 

5  (33) 


34 

For  ve  vanted  La  G-ermania — boot  der  ardist  mit  a 

bloonder 
Vent  und  vlorished  Lager  agross  id — und  denn  poot 

Mania  oonder  ! 

Und  as  G-hristmas  Efe  was  gekommen  de  beoples  weren 

im  Hall, 
I  shvears  you  id  vas  Gott-full — dat  shplendit,  pe-glo- 

riedball? 
Ve  hat  foon  wie  der  Teufel  in  Frankreich — we  coot  oop 

like  ter  tyfel  in  France, 
Und  valk  pair-wise  in,  while  de  musik  blayed  loudt  de 

Fackel-Tanz. 

But  ven  de  valtz  shtrike  oopwart  we  most  went  out  of  fits, 
Ash  der  Breitmann  led  off  on  a  dwister  mid  de  lofely 

Helmina  Schmitz. 
He  valtz  shoost  like  he  vas  shtandin  shtill,  mit  a  peau- 

dtful  solemn  shmile, 
Und  'Mina  say  he  nafer  shtop  poussiren  allaweil. 

"  Es  toent,  es  rauschet  Saitenklang — I  hear  de  musik 

call 
Den  kerzenhellen  Saal  entlang — all  troo  de  gleamin 

Hall, 
0  moecht  ich  schweben  stolz  und  froh — 0  mighdt  I 

efer  pe 
Mit  dir  durchs  ganze  Leben  so ! — my  Lebenlang  by  dee." 


35 

Und  faster  play  de  musik  de  "Wellen  und  Wogen  von 

Strauss ; 
Und  some  drop  into  de  tantzen  und  some  of  dem  drop 

aus; 

Und  soon  like  a  shtorni  in  de  Meere  I  feel  de  reelin  vloor, 
So  de  shpinners  shtop  mit  de  shpinsters,  for  dey  couldn't 

shpin  no  more. 

Now  weren  ve  all  frolic,  und  lauter  guter  ding, 

Und  dirsty  ash  a  broosh-pinder — ven  ve  hear  some 

glaesses  ring; 
Foorst  mild  und  sonft  in  de  distants — like  de  song  of  a 

nightingoll, 
Den  a  ringin  und  rottlin  und  clotterin — ash  de  Gluck 

of  Edenhall  ? 

Hei !  how  we  roosh  on  de  liquor  ! — hei !  how  de  kell- 

ners  coorn  ! 
Hei !  how  we  busted  de  bier  kegs  und  poonished  de 

Punsch  a  la  Rhuni, 
Like  lonely  wafes  at  niitternight  oopon  some  shiant 

shore ; 
Like  an   awful  shtorni  in  de  Wselder — was  de  dirsty 

Deutschers'  roar ! 

I  pyed  some  carts  for  a  dime  abiece — I  pyed  shoost 

fifdy-dwo. 
Dey  were  goot  for  bier,  or  schnapps,  or  wein — py  don- 

der  how  dey  flew! 


36 

I  ring  de  deck  on  de  vaiters  for  liquor  hot  und  cool, 
Und  avery  dime  I  blays  a  cart,  py  sliings,  I  rake  de 
pool ! 

Und  ash  ve  trinked  so  comforble,  like  boogs  in  any  roog, 
De  trompets  blowed  tan  da  ra  del,  und  dere  coom  in  a 

Maskenzug, 

A  peaudiful  brocession,  soul-raisin  und  sooplime, 
De  marinorbilds  of  de  heroes  of  de  early  Sherman  dime. 

Dere  vent  der  gross  Arminius,  nrit  his  frau  Thusnelda, 

too, 
De  vellers  ash  lam  de  Romans  dill  dey  roon  mit  noses 

plue, 
Den  vollowed  Quinctilius  Varus,  who  carry  a  Roman 

yoke, 
Und    arm-in-arm  mit  Gambrinus  come  der  Allemane 

Chroc. 

Der  alte  Friedrich  Rothbart,  und  Kaiser  Karl  der  crate, 
Mit  Roland  und  Uliverus  ven  shveepin  on  in  shtatc  ; 
Und  Conradin  whose  &ad-full   deat'  shtill  makes  our 

heartsen  pleed, 
Und  all  of  dem  oldt  vellers  aus  deni  Niblungen  Lied. 

Und  as  dey  niofed  on,  der  Breitmann  maked  a  tyfeled 

shplendid  witz 
In   anti-word  to  dis    quesdion    from  de  lofely  'Mina 

Schmitz  : 


37 

"  Vy  ish  id  dey  always  makes  in  shtone  dem  vellers  so 
andiquatet  ?" 

u  Yy — dey  set  in  de  laps  of  Ages  dill  dey  got  lapi 
dated  !" 

Und  shoost  ash  de  last  of  dis  hisdory  hat  fonished  troo 

de  toor, 
Ve  heardt  a  ge-screech,  und  Pelz  Nickel  coom  howlin 

on  de  vloor ; 
Den  de  laties  yell  like  der  tyfel,  und  vly  like  gulls  mit 

vings, 
Und   der  Peltz  Nickel  lick  em  mit  svitches   und  ve 

laughed  like  averydings. 

I  nefer  hafe  sooch  laughen  before  dat  I  was  geborn, 
Und  Pelz  Nickel  ven  'twas  ober  he  blow  on  a  yaeger  horn 
Und  denounce  do  all  de  beople  gesembled  in  de  hall : 
Dat  a  Ghristmas  dree  vas  vaiten  mit  bresents  for  oos  all ! 

So  ve  vollowed  him  into  de  zimmer  so  quick  ash  dese 

vords  he  said, 

To  kit  dem  peaudiful  bresents,  all  gratis  und  on  de  dead, 
Und  in  facdt  a  shplendid  Weihnachtsbaum  mid   lighds 

ve  druly  found, 
Und  liddel  kifts  dat  ge-kostet  a  benny  abieceall  round! 

Dere  vas  Rika  Stange  die  Dessauerinn — a  maedchen 

shtraigdt  und  tall, 
She  got  a  bicture  of  Cupid — boot  she  didn't  see  it  at  all 


38 

Dill  der  Breitinann  say  init  his  shplendid  shtyle  dat  all 

de  laties  dake : 
"  Dat  pend  of  de  bow  is  de  Grecian  pend  dat  you  so 

ofden  make  I" 

Anoder  scharmante  laty,  Maria  Top,  did  got 
A  schwingin  mid  a  ribbon,  a  liddle  benny  pot; 
Boot  Breitmann  hafe  id  de  roughest  of  any  oder  mans5 
For  he  kit  a  yellow  gratle  mit  a  liddle  wooden  Hans. 

Den  next  Beethoven's  Sinfonie,  die  orkester  did  blay  ; 
Adagio — allegro — andante  cantabile. 
We  sat  in  shtill  commotion  so  dat  a  bin  mighdt  drops, 
Und  de  deers  roon  town  der  Breitmann's  sheeks  mit- 
whiles  he  was  trinkin  schnapps. 

Next  dings  ve  had  de  Weinnachtstraum  gesung  by  de 

Liederkranz* 
Denn  I  trinked  dwelf  schoppens  of  glee  wine  to  sed  me 

oop  for  a  tanz ; 
Dis  dimes  I  tanz  wie  der  Tyfel — we  shriek  de  volk  on 

de  vloor ; 
Und  boost  right  indo  de  sooper  room — for  ve  tanzt  a 

hole  troo  de  door  ! 

Denn  'twas  rowdy  tow  und  hop-sossa,  ve  hollered,  Mann 

und  Weib  ; 
"Rip  Sam  und  sed   her  oop  acain  ! — ve're  all  of  de 

Shackdaw  tribe !" 


39 

Venn  Pelz  Nickel  blow  his  trump  once  more,  und  peg 

peg  oos  to  shtop  our  din, 
Und    troo   de   open   toor   dere    corned    nine    denpins 

marchin  in. 

Nine  vellers  tressed  like  denpins — dey  goed  to  der  end' 
der  hall, 

Und  dwo  Hans  Wurst,  shack-puddin  glowns — dey  rolled 
at  em  mit  a  pall. 

De  palls  vas  painted  peaudiful ;  dey  vas  vifdeen  feet 
aroundt ; 

Und  de  rule  of  de  came  :  whoefer  cot  hidt  moost  doom- 
pie  on  de  croundt. 

Somedimes  dey  hit  de  denpins — somedimes   de  oder 

volk— 

Und  pooty  soon  de  gompany  was  all  laid  out  in  shoke ; 
Boot  I  tells  you  vot  it  makes  oos  laugh  dill  ve  py  nearly 

shplits, 
Ven  der  Breitmann  he  roll  ofer  and  drip  up  de  Mina 

Schmitz. 

Dis  lets  itself  in  Sherman  pe  foost-rade  word-blayed  on, 
Und  mongst  oos  be  giftet  vellers  you  pet  dat  it  vas  tone! 
How  der  Breitmann  mighdt  drafel  as  brideman  on  de 

roadt  dat  ish  breit  and  krumm; 
Here  de  drumpets  soundt,  and  pair-wise  ve  goed  for  de 

sooper  room. 


40 

Ve  goed  for  ge-roasted  Welsh-hens,  ve    goed  for  ge- 

spickter  hare, 

Ye  goed  for  kartoffel  salade  mit  butter  brod — Kaviar; 
Ye  roosh  at  de  lordtly  sauer-kraut  und  de  wurst  vich 

lofely  shine, 
Und  oh  mein  G-ott  in  Kimmel  !  how  we  goed  for  de 

Mosel-wein  ! 

Und  troonker  more,  und  troonker  yet,  und  troonker  shtill 

got  ve, 

In  rosy  lighdt  shtill  drivin  on  agross  a  fairy  see ; 
Den  madder,  wilder,  frantic-er  I  proked  a  salat  dish  ! 
Und  shoost  like  roarin  elefants  ve  tanzt  aroundt  de  tish. 

I'fe  shvimmed  in  heafenly  troonks  pefore — boot  nefer 

von  like  dis, 

De  morgen-het-ache  only  seemt  a  bortion  of  de  bliss. 
De  while  in  trilling  peauty  roundt  like  heafenly  vind- 

harps  rang 
A  goosh  of  golden   melodie  —  de  Rhineweinbechers 

Klang. 

De  meltin   minnesingers   song — a    droonk  of  honeyd 

rhyme — 

De  b'wildrin-dipsy  Bardic  shants  of  Teutoburgic  dime, 
Back  to  de  runic  dim  Yalhall  und   Balder's  foamin 

mead ; 
Here  ents  in  heller  glorie  schein  des  Breitmann's 

Weihnachtslied  ! 


Der  Freischuets. 


WIE  geht's  my  frients— if  you'll  allow, 
I  sings  you  rite  avay  shoost  now 
Some  dretful  shdories  vitch  dey  calls 
DER  FREYSCHUETZ  ;  or,  de  Magic  Balls. 

Wohl  in  Bohemian  land  it  cooms, 
"Where  folks  trinks  prandy  mate  of  plums; 
Dere  lifed  ein  Yager — Maxerl  Schmit, 
Who  shot  mit  goons  and  nefer  hit. 

TInd  dere  vas  one  old  Ya^er,  who 

O         / 

Says,  "  Maxerl,  dis  vilt  nefer  do ; 
If  you  should  miss  on  trial  day, 
Dere'l  pe  de  tyfel  den  to  pay. 

"If  you  do  miss,  you  shtupid  goose, 
Dere'l  pe  de  donnerwetter  loose ; 
For  you  shant  have  mine  taughter's  hand, 
Nor  pe  de  Hertshog's  yagersmann." 

It  coomed  pefore  de  day  was  set, 
Dat  all  de  chaps  togeder  met, 
Und  Maxerl  fired  his  bix  and  missed, 
Und  all  de  gals  cot  round  and  hissed. 
6  (41) 


42 


Dey  laughed  pefore,  and  hissed  pehind ; 
Put  one  chap,  Kaspar,  set :  "tont  mind! 
I  dells  you  what,  you  stuns  'em  alls, 
If  yoost  you  shoot  mit  magic  palls." 

"De  magic  palls — oh  vot  is  dat !" 
"I  got  dem  in  mine  hoontin  hat ; 
De're  plack  as  kohl  und  shoot  so  true, 
Oh  dems  de  sort  of  palls  for  you. 

"  You  see  dat  eagle  flyin  high, 
Ein  hoondred  miles  up  in  de  sky  ? 
Shoot  at  dat  eagle  mit  your  bix, 
You  kills  him  dead  as  doonderbtix." 

"  I  tont  pelieve  de  dings  you  say." 
"  You  fool,"  says  Kass,  uden  plaze  avay !" 
He  plazed  avay,  ven  sure  as  blood, 
Down  coomed  de  eagle  in  de  mud. 

"  0  was  ist  das  ?"  said  Maxerl  Schmit, 
"  Vy — dat's  de  eagle  vat  you  hit. 
You  kills  um  vhen  you  plaze  avay ; 
But  dat's  a  ting  you  nix  ferstay. 

"  Und  you  moost  go  to  make  dem  balls 
To  de  Wolf's  Glen  ven  mitnight  falls  ; 
Dow  knowst  de  shpot? — alone  and  late" — 
"  0  ja — I  knows  him  ganz  foost-rate." 


43 


"  But  denn  I  does  not  likes  to  go 

Among  dem  dings."     Says  Kass,  "Ach  sho ! 

I'll  help  you  fix  dem  tyfel  chaps; 

Like  a  goot  fellow — take  some  schnapps ! 

"(HilfZamiel!  liilf!} — Here,  trink  some  more !" 
Den  Kass  vent  shtomping  roundt  de  floor, 
Und  coomed  his  hoomboogs  ofer  Schmit, 
Till  Max  said  "Nun — ich  gehe  mit  /" 

All  in  de  finster  mitternockt, 
When  oder  folks  in  shleep  vas  locked, 
Down  in  de  Wo/fsschlucht  Kass  did  try 
His  tyfel-strikes  und  hexerei. 

Mit  skools  and  pones  he  made  a  ring, 
De  howls  and  spooks  pegin  to  sing; 
Und  all  de  tyfels  oonter  ground 
Coome  breaking  loose  and  rushin  round. 

Den  Maxerl  cooms  along ;  says  he, 
"  Mein  G-ott !  what  dings  is  dis  I  see  ! 
I  dinks  de  fery  tyfel  und  all 
Moost  help  to  make  dem  magic  pall. 

"  I  vish  dat  I  had  nix  cum  rous, 
Und  shtaid  mineself  in  bett  to  house." 
"  Hilf  Zamiel !"  cried  Kass,  "you  whelp  ! 
You  red  Dootch  tyfel — coom  und  help  !" 


44 


Den  up  dere  coomed  a  tredful  shtorm, 
De  todtengrips  aroundt  did  schwarm ; 
De  howl  joomped  oop  und  flapt  his  vings, 
Und  turned  his  het  like  averydings. 

Up  troo  de  groundt  here  coomed  a  pot, 
Mit  leadt  und  dings  to  make  de  shot ; 
Und  hoellisch  fire  in  crimson  plaze, 
Und  awful  schmells  like  Schweitzer  kses'. 

Across  de  scene  a  pine  shtick  flew, 
Mit  seferal  jail-pirds  fastent  to, 
Six  treadful  jail-birds,  mit  deir  vings 
Tied  to  de  shticks  mit  magic  shtrings. 

All  troo  de  air,  all  in  a  row, 
Die  wilde  Jugd  was  seen  to  go; 
De  hounts  und  deer  all  made  of  pone, 
Und  hoonted  by  a  skilleton. 

Dere  coomed  de  dretful  shpectre  pig 
"Who  shpitten  fire,  away  did  dig; 
Und  fiery  drocks  und  tyfel-snake 
A  scootin  troo  de  air  tid  preak. 

But  Kass  he  tidn't  mind  dem  alls, 
But  casted  out  de  pullet  palls ; 
Six  was  to  go  as  dey  wouldt  like, 
De  sevent  moost  for  de  tyfel  strike. 


45 


At  last  oopon  de  trial  day 
De  gals  coomed  round  so  nice  and  gay ; 
Und  denn  dey  goes  and  makes  a  tanz 
Und  stinged  apout  de  Jungf&rnkranz. 

Und  denn  der  Hertshog — dat's  de  Duke — 
Cooms  down  und  dinks  he'll  take  a  look; 
"  Young  mans,"  to  Maxerl  denn  says  he, 
"  Shoost  shoot  dem  dove  upon  dat  dree  I" 

Denn  Maxerl  pointed  mit  de  bix — 
"Potzblitz  I"  says  he,  "  dat  dove  I'll  fix  !" 
He  fired  his  rifle  at  de  Taub, 
When  Kass  rolled  over  in  de  Staub. 

De  pride  she  failed  too  in  de  dust, 
De  gals  dey  cried — de  men  dey  cussed  : 
De  Hertshog  says,  "It's  fery  clear 
Dat  dere  has  peen  some  tyfels  here ; 

"Und  Max  has  shot  mit  tyfels-Sfei. 
Pfui! — die  verfluchte  Hexerei  ! 
0  Maximilian  !      0  du 
Gehst  nit  mit  rechten  Dingen  zu  !" 

But  den  a  hermits  coomed  in  late, 
Says  he,  "I'll  fix  dese  dings  foost-rate." 
Und  telld  de  Hertshog  dat  young  men 
Will  raise  der  tyfel  now  and  denn, 


De  Duke  forgifed  de  Kaspar  dann 
Und  made  of  him  em  Yagersmann, 
What  shoots  mit  bixen  gua  and  pfeil, 
Und  talks  apout  de  Waidnannslieil. 

Und  denn  de  pride  she  coomed  to  life, 
Und  cot  to  pe  de  Maxerl's  wife ; 
Den  all  de  beoples  cried  Hoorah  ! 
Das  ist  recht  brav  !  und  hopsasa  I 


MORAL. 

Py  dis  dings  may  pe  oondershtood 
Dat  vhat  is  pad  vorks  ofden  goot : 
Or,  Maximilia  Maximil- 
ibus  curantur — if  you  will. 


Breitmann  about  Town. 

DER  Schwackenhanimer  coom  to  down, 
Pefore  de  Fall  vas  past, 
Und  by  der  Breitmann  drawed  he  in 
Ash  dreimals  honored  gast. 
Led's  see  de  sighdts  !     In  self  und  worldt, — 

Dere's  "  sighdts  "  for  him,  to  see, 
Who  Selbsianschaungsvermoegen  hat, 
Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 

Dey  vented  to  de  Opera  Haus, 

Und  dere  dey  vound  em  blayin'. 
Of  Offenbach,  (  der  open  brook,) 

His  show  spiel  Belle  Helene. 
"  Dere's  Offenbach, — Sebastian  Bach, — 

Mit  Kaulbach, — dat  makes  dree  : 
I  alvays  likes  soosh  brooks  ash  dese ." 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 

Dey  vented  to  de  Bibliothek, 
Vhich  Mishder  Astor  bilt : 
Some  pooks  vere  only  en  broschure, 

Und  some  vere  pound  und  gilt. 
"  Dat  makes  de  gold — dat  makes  de  sinn, 

Mit  pooks,  ash  men,  ve  see, 
De  pest  tressed  vellers  gilt  de  most  :" — 
Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 
(47) 


48 

Dey  vent  to  see  an  edider, 

Who'd  shanged  his  flag  und  doon, 
Und  crowed  oopon  der  oder  side, 

Dat  very  afdernoon. 
De  anciends  vorshipped  wetter-cocks, 

To  wetter  fanes  pent  de  knee } 
Pow  down,  mein  Schwackenhammer,  pow  I" 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 


Dey  vented  py  a  panker's  hause, 

Und  Schwackenhammer  shvore, 
Id  only  vant  a  pig  red  shield 

Hoong  oop  pefore  de  toor  ] 
One  side  of  red,  one  side  of  gold, 

Like  de  knighd's  in  hisdorie — 
11  De  schildern  of  dat  schild  is  rich," 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 

Dey  vent  oonto  a  bicture  sale, 

Of  frames  wort'  many  a  cent, 
De  broberty  of  a  shendleman, 

Who  oonto  Europe  vent. 
"  Dont  gry — he'll  soon  pe  pack  again 

Mit  anoder  gallerie  : 
He  sells  dem  oud  dwelf  dimes  a  year," 
Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 


49 

Dey  vented  to  dis  berson's  house, 

To  see  his  furnidure, 
Sold  oud  at  aucdion  rite  afay, 

Berembdory  und  sure. 
"  He  geeps  six  houses  all  at  voiice 

Each  veek  a  sale  dere  pe, 
G-otts  !  vat  a  dime  his  vife  moost  hafe  !"— 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 

Dey  vent  to  vind  a  goot  cigar, 

Long  dimes  dey  roamed  apout, 
Von  veller  had  a  pran  new  sort, 

De  fery  latest  out. 
:i  Mein  freund — I  dinks  you  errs  yourself 

De  shmell  ish  oldt  to  me  ; 
De  Infamias  Stinkadores  brand, "- 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 

Dey  vented  to  de  virst  hotel, 

De  prandy  make  dem  creep, 
A  trop  of  id's  enough  to  make 

A  brazen  monkey  veep. 
"  Dey  say  a  viner  house  ash  dis, 

Vill  soon  ge-bildet  pe, 
Crate  Gott ! — vot  can  dey  mean  to  trink  ?" 
Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 
7 


50 

Dey  vented  droo  de  Irish  shtreeds, 

Dey  saw  vrom  haus  to  haus, 
Und  gountet  oop,  t  pout  more  or  less, 

Vive  hoondred  awful  rows. 
"  If  all  dese  liddle  vights  dey  waste, 

Could  von  crate  pattle  pe, 
Gotts  !  how  de  Fenian  funds  vouldt  rise  !' 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 


Dey  vent  to  see  de  Kidualisds, 

Who  vorship  Gott  mitt  viewers, 
In  hobes  he'll  lofe  dem  pack  again, 

In  winter  among  de  showers. 
"Then  de  Pacific  railroat's  done 

Dis  dirigs  imbrofed  vill  pe, 
De  joss-sticks  vill  pe  santal  vood," — 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 

Dey  vent  to  hear  a  breecher  of 

De  last  sensadion  shtyle, 
;Twas  'nough  to  make  der  tyfel  weep 

To  see  his  "awful  shmile." 
il  Vot  bities  dat  der  Fechter  ne'er 

Yas  in  Theologie. 
Dey'd  make  him  pish  op  in  dis  shoorsh," 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 


51 

Dey  vent  indo  a  shpordin'  crib, 

De  rowdies  cloostered  dick, 
Dey  ashk  him  dell  dem  vot  o'glock, 

Und  dat  infernal  quick. 
Der  Breitmann  draw'd  his  'volver  oud, 

Ash  gool  ash  gool  couldt  pe, 
11  Id's  shoost  a  goin'  to  shdrike  six/' 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 

Dey  vent  polid'gal  meedins  next, 

Dey  hear  dem  rant  and  rail, 
Der  bresident  vas  a  forger, 

Shoost  bardoned  oud  of  jail. 
He  does  it  oud  of  cratitood, 

To  dem  who  set  him  vree  : 
"Id's  Harmonic  of  Inderesds," 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 

Dey  vent  to  a  clairfoyand  witch, 

A  plack-eyed  handsome  maid, 
She  wahrsagt  all  der  vortunes — denn 

"  Fife  dollars,  gents  !"  she  said. 
"Dese  vitches  are  nod  of  dis  eart', 

Und  yed  are  on  id,  I  see 
Der  Shakesbeare  knew  de  preed  right  veil," 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 


52 

Dey  vented  to  a  restaurand, 

Der  vaiter  coot  a  dash  ; 
He  garfed  a  shicken  in  a  vink, 

Und  serfed  id  at  a  vlash. 
"Dat  shap  knows  veil  shoost  how  to  coot, 

Und  roon  mit  poulterie, 
He  vas  copitain  oonder  Turchin  vonce," 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 

Dey  vented  to  de  Yoman's  Righds, 

Yere  laties  all  agrees, 
De  gals  should  pe  de  voters, 

Und  deir  beaux  all  de  votees. 
"  For  efery  man  dat  nefer  vorks, 

Yon  frau  should  vranchised  pe  : 
Dat  ish  de  vay  I  solf  dis  ding/' 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 

Dey  vented  oop,  dey  vented  down, 

'Tvas  like  a  roarin'  rif'er, 
De  sighds  vas  here — de  sighds  vas  dere- 

Und  de  vorldt  vent  on  forefer. 
"  De  more  ve  trinks,  de  more  ve  sees, 

Dis  vorldt  a  derwisch  pe  ; 
Das  Werden's  all  von  whirling  droonk," 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 


Schnitzel's  Philosopede. 

PARDT   FIRSET, 


HERR  SCHNITZERL  make  a  philosopede. 
Yon  of  de  pullyest  kind ; 
It  vent  mitout  a  vheel  in  front, 
And  hadn't  none  pehind. 
Yon  vheel  vas  in  de  mittel,  dough, 

And  it  vent  as  sure  as  ecks, 
For  he  shtraddled  on  de  axle  dree 
Mit  de  vheel  petween  his  leeks. 

Und  ven  he  vant  to  shtart  id  off 

He  paddlet  mit  his  veet, 
Und  soon  he  cot  to  go  so  vast 

Dat  avery  dings  he  peat. 
He  run  her  out  on  Broader  shtreed, 

He  shkeeted  like  der  vind, 
Hei !  how  he  bassed  de  vancy  crabs, 

And  lef  dem  all  pehind ! 

De  vellers  mit  de  trottin  nags 

Pooled  oop  to  see  him  bass; 
De  Deutschers  all  erstaunished  saidt : 

"  Potztausend  !      Was  ist  das  ?" 
Boot  vaster  shtill  der  Schnitzerl  newed 

On — mit  a  gashtly  smile; 
C53) 


54 

He  tidn't  tooch  de  dirt,  py  shings  ! 
Not  vonce  in  hal-f  a  mile. 

Oh,  vot  ish  all  dis  eartly  pliss  ? 

Oh,  vot  ish  man's  soocksess  ? 
Oh,  vot  ish  various  kinds  of  dings  ? 

Und  vot  ish  hobbiness  ? 
Ye  find  a  pank-node  in  de  shtreedt, 

Next  dings  der  pank  is  preak ; 
Ye  foils,  und  knocks  our  outsides  in, 

Yen  ve  a  ten  shtrike  make. 

So  vas  it  mit  der  Schnitzerlein 

On  his  philosopede. 
His  feet  both  shlipped  outsideward  shoost 

Yhen  at  his  extra  shpeed. 
He  felled  oopon  der  vheel  of  course; 

De  vheel  like  blitzen  flew  : 
Und  Schnitzerl  he  vas  schnitz  in  vact 

For  id  shlished  him  grod  in  two. 

Und  as  for  his  philosopede, 

Id  cot  so  shkared,  men  say, 
It  pounded  onward  till  it  vent 

Ganz  teufelwards  afay. 
Boot  vhere  ish  now  de  Schnitzerl 's  soul  ? 

Yhere  dos  his  shbirit  pidc  ? 
In  Himmel  troo  de  entless  plue, 

It  takes  a  medeor  ride. 


Schnitzerl's  Philosopede. 

PAEDT   SECONET, 


VEN  Breitmann  hear  dat  Schnitzerl 
Yas  quardered  into  dwo, 
Und  how  his  crate  philosopede 
To  'm  teufel  had  gone  flew; 
He  dinked  and  dinked  so  heafy 

As  only  Deutschers  can, 
Denn  saidt,  "  Who  mighdt  beliefet 
Dis  ish  de  ent  of  man? 

"  De  human  souls  of  beoples 

Exisdt  in  deir  idees, 
Und  dis  of  Wolfram  Schnitzerl 

Mighdt  dravel  many  vays, 
In  his  Bestimmung  des  Menschen 

Der  Fichte  makes  peliefe 
Dat  ve  brogress  oon-endly 

In  vot  pehind  we  leafe. 

"  De  shbarrow  falls  ground-downwarts. 

Or  drafelsto  de  West; 
De  shbarrows  dat  coom  afder 

Bild  shoost  de  same  oldt  nest. 
Man  hat  not  vings  or  fedders, 
Und  in  oder  dings,  'tis  saidt, 
(55) 


56 

He  tont  coom  oop  to  shbarrows ; 
Boot  on  nests  he  goes  ahet. 

"  0  vliest  dou  troo  bornin  vorldts 

Und  nebuloser  foam, 
By  monsdrous  mitnight  shiant  forms 

Or  vhere  red  tyfels  roam, 
Or  vhere  de  chosts  of  shky  rackets 

Peyond  creadion  flee  ? 
Vhere'er  dou  art,  oh  Schnitzerlein  I 

Crate  saint !  look  down  on  me  ! 

"  Und  deach  me  how  you  maket 

Dat  crate  philosopede, 
Vitch  roon  dwice  six  mals  vaster 

Ash  any  Arap  shteed, 
Und  deach  me  how  to  'stonish  folk 

Und  knock  dem  out  de  shpots. 
Come  pack  to  eart,  O  Schnitzerlein, 

Und  pring  it  down  to  dots  !" 

Shoost  ash  dis  vort  vent  outvarts 

Hans  dinked  he  see  a  vlash, 
Und  unterwards  de  dable 

He  doomple  mit  a  crash, 
Und  to  him,  moong  de  glaesses, 

Und  pottles  ash  vas  proke, 
Mit  his  het  in  a  cigar  box, 

An  foice  from  Himmel  shpoke  : 


57 

Adsum  Domme  Breitmann  ! 

Herr  Capitain — here  I  pe ! 
So  dell  me  right  honeste 

Quare  inquietasti  me  ? 
Te  video  inter  spoonibus, 

Et  largis  glassis  too, 
Cerevisia  repletis, 

Sicut  percussus  tonitru!" 

Derm  Breitmann  ansver  Schnitzerl : 

"  Coarctor  nimis. — See! 
Siquidem  Philistiim 

Puynant  adversum  me. 
Ergo  vocavi  te, 

Ash  Saul  vocavit  Sam 
uel,  ut  mi  ostendcres 

Quidteufelfaciamf" 

Denn  der  shpirit,  in  Lateinisch 

Saidt  "  Benc— dat's  de  dalk  ! 
Non  habes  in  hoc  shanfi/ 

A  shingle  et  some  chalk  ? 
JVoTi  video  inkum  et  calamos  : 

(I  shbose  some  bummer  ghdole  'em) 
Levate  oculos  tuos,  son 

Et  aspice  ad  linteolum  !" 


58 

Den  Breitmann  see  de  chalk-piece 

Vitch  riset  from  de  floor, 
Und  signet  a  philosopede 

Alone  oopon  de  toor, 
De  von  dat  Schnitzerl  fabricate, 

Und  oonderneat  he  see  : 
Probate  inter  equites : 

"  Try  dis  in  de  cavallrie." 

Den  Breitmann  shtoot  ooprightly 

Und  leanet  on  a  bost,  [peen 

Und  saidt ;  "  If  dis  couldt,  shouldt  hafe 

It  vouldt  mighdt  peen  a  chost ! 
Boot  if  it  pe  nouomenon, 

Phenomenoned  indeed, 
Or  de  soobyective  obyectified, 

I'fe  cot  de  philosopede." 


Denn  out  he  seekt  a  plack  schmidt 

Ash  vork  in  iron  shteel ; 
To  make  him  a  philosopede 

Mit  shoost  an  only  vheel. 
De  dings  vas  maket  simple, 

Ash  all  crate  idees  should  pe  ; 
For  'twas  noding  boot  a  gart  vheel 

Mit  a  two  veet  achsel-dree. 


59 

De  dimes  der  Breitmann  doomple 

In  learnin  for  to  ride, 
Yas  ofdener  ash  de  sand  grains 

Dat  rollen  in  de  tide. 
De  dimes  he  cot  oopsetted 

In  shdeerin  lefdt  und  righdt, 
Vas  ofdener  as  de  cleamin  shdars 

Dat  shtud  de  shky  py  nighdt. 

Boot  de  vorstest  of  de  veadures 

In  dis  von  vheel  horse,  you  bet, 
Ish  dat  man  couldt  go  so  nicely 

Pefore  he  got  oopset, 
Some  dimes  he  go  like  plazes 

Und  toorn  her,  extra-fein, 
Und  denn  shlop  ofer — dis  is  vhat 

Hafe  kill  der  Schnitzerlein. 


Soosh  droples  as  der  Breitmann  hafe 

To  make  dis  'vention  go, 
Vas  nefer  seen  py  mordal  man 

Oopon  dis  vorldt  pelow. 
He  doompled  righdt,  he  doompled  lefdt, 

He  hafe  a  tousand  toomps, 
Dere  nefer  vas  a  gricket-ball 

Vot  got  soosh  'fernal  boomps. 


GO 

Boot  ash  lie  shvear't  he'd  do  it, 

He  shvore  id  should  pe  done, 
Dough  he  schimpft  und  fluchte  laesterlich, 

He  visht  he'd  ne'er  pegun. 
JfifaHagelt     Blitz!'    Kreuzsakrament ! 

He  raaket  de  houser  ring, 
Und  hoped  de  Schnitzerl  pe  verdammt 

For  deachin  him  dis  ding. 


Nun — goot !     Ad  last  he  got  it. 

Und  peaudifool  he  goed, 
Dis  day,  saidt  he,  "  I'll  stonish  folk 

A  ridin  on  de  road  ; 
Dis  day  py  shinks  I'll  do  it ! 

Und  knock  dings  out  of  sight  !" 
Ach  weh  !  for  Breitmann  dat  day 

Vas  not  pe-markt  mit  vhite. 

De  noompers  of  de  Deutsche  folk 

Dat  coom  dis  feat  to  see, 
I  dink  in  soper  earnest-hood, 

Mighdt  not  ge-reckonet  pe. 
For  miles  dey  shtood  along  de  road, 

Mein  Gott  !  but  dey  vas  dry  ; 
Dey  trinked  den  lager-beer  shops  oop, 

Pefore  der  Hans  coom  py. 


61 


Yhen  all  at  vonce  drementous  gries 

De  fery  country  shook ; 
Und  beoples  shkreemt :  "  Da  ist  er  !   Schau  ! 

Dere  ish  der  Breitmann  ! — Look  !" 
Mein  Gott !  vas  efer  soosh  a  shoudt? 

Yas  efer  soosh  a  gry  ? 
Ven  like  a  brick-bat  in  a  vight, 

Der  Breitemann  roosh  py. 

0  mordal  man  !     Yy  ish  id,  dow 

Hast  passion  to  go  vast  ? 
Yy  ish  id  dat  de  tog  und  horse 

Likes  shbeed  too  quick  to  last  ? 
De  pugs,  de  pirds,  de  pumple-pees, 

Und  all  dat  ish,  'twould  seem, 
Ish  nefer  hoppy  boot,  exsept 

"When  pilin  on  de  shteam. 

Der  Breitmann  flew  !     Yon  mighdy  gry, 

Ash  he  vent  scootin  bast, 
Yon  derriple,  drementous  yell — 

Dat  day  de  virst — and  last. 
Yot  ha  !  vot  ho  !    Yy  ish  id  dus  ? 

Yot  makes  dem  shdare  aghast  ? 
Yy  cooms  dat  vail  of  wild  tespair  ? 

Ish  somedings  got  gesmasht  ? 


62 

Yea — efen  so.     Yea,  ferily — 

Shbeak,  soul  !     It  is  dy  biz  ! 
Der  Breitmann  shkeet  so  vast  along, 

Dey  fairly  heard  him  whizz. 
Yen  shoost  oopon  a  hill-top  point 

It  caught  a  pranch  ge-pent, 
Und  like  an  opple  vrom  a  svitch, 

Afay  Hans  Breitmann  vent. 


Yent  troo  de  air  a  hoondert  feet, 

(Allowin  more  or  less) — 
Denn  pobb — pobb — pobb — a  mile  or  dwo; 

He  rollet  along — I  guess. 
Say — hast  dou  seen  a  gannon  ball 

Half  shpent,  shtill  poundin  on  ; 
Like  made  of  gummi-lasticum  ? 

So  vent  der  Breitemann. 


Dey  bick  him  up — dey  pring  him  in — 

No  wort  der  Breitmann  shpoke. 
Der  doktor  look — he  shvear  erstaunt 

Dat  nodings  ish  peen  proke  ! 
He  rollet  de  rocky  road  entlong, 

He  pouncet  o'er  shtock  und  shtone  ? 
You'd  dink  he'd  knocked  his  outsides  in, 

Yet  nefer  preak  a  pone  ! 


63 

All  shtill  Hans  lay — bevilderfied — 

Nor  seemet  to  mind  de  snaps, 
Nor  moofed,  oontil  der  medicus 

Hafe  dose  him  veil  mit  schnapps. 
De  schmell  voke  oop  de  boetry 

Of  tays  ven  he  vas  young, 
Und  he  murmulte  de  frogmends 

Of  an  sad  romandic  song  : 


"  As  summer  pring  de  roses, 

Und  roses  pring  de  dew, 
So  Deutschland  gifes  de  maidens 

Yot  fetch  de  bier  to  you. 
Komm  Maidlein  !     Rothe  Wsenglein  ! 

Mit  a  wein  glass  in  your  paw  ! 
Ve'll  ged  troonk  amoong  de  roses 

Und  lie  soper  on  de  shdraw  ! 


"  As  winter  prings  de  ice-wind, 

Dat  plow  o'er  burg  und  hill, 
Hard  times  pring  in  de  lantlord, 

Und  de  lantlord  pring  de  bill. 
Boot  sing  Maidlein  !     Kothe  Waengelein ! 

Mit  wein  glass  in  your  paw  ! 
Ve'll  ged  troonk  amoong  de  roses 

Und  lie  sober  on  de  shdraw  \" 


Dey  dook  der  Breitmann  homewarts, 

Boot  efer  on  de  vay, 
He  nefer  shbeaket  no  man, 

Und  noding  else  could  say : 
Boot — "Maidlein — Rothe  Wsengelein  ! 

Mit  wein  glass  in  her  paw, 
We'll  ged  troonk  amoong  de  rosen 

Und  lie  soper  on  de  shdraw  !" 


Dey  laid  der  Hans  im  Bette, 

Peneat  de  eider-doun, 
Und  sempled  all  de  doktors 

Vot  doktored  in  de  town. 
Dat  ish,  de  Deutsche  Aertzte, 

For  Breitmann  alfays  says, 
De  Deutschers  ish  de  onlies 

Mit  orig;inell  idees. 


Dere  vas  Doktor  Moritz  Schlinkenschlog, 

Dat  vork  ash  cafttopath, 
Und  der  learned  Cobus  Schoepfskopf, 

Dat  use  de  inilchy  bath"; 
Und  Korschalitschky  aus  Boehmen, 

Yot  cure  mit  slibovitz, 
Und  Wechselbalg  from  Berlin, 

Who  only  'tend  to  fits. 


65 

Dere  vas  Strobbich  aus  Westfalen 

Who  mofe  all  eart'ly  ills 
Mit  concentrirter  schinken  juice, 

Und  Pumpernickel  pills  ; 
Und  a  bier-kur  man  from  Munich, 

Und  a  grape-curist  from  Khein, 
Und  von  who  shkare  tisease  afay 

Mit  dose  of  Schlesier  wein. 


So  dey  meed  in  consooldation 

Mit  Doktor  Winkeleck, 
Who  brackdise  "renovation  " 

Mit  sauerkraut  und  speck. 
Und  dat  no  man  shouldt  pe  shlightet 

Or  treatet  ash  a  tunce, 
Dey  'greed  to  try  deir  systems 

Oopon  Breitmann  all  at  vonce. 


Dat  ish,  mit  de  excepdion, 

Of  gifin  Schlesier  wein  ; 
For  de  remedy  vas  danger-full 

On  von  who  trink  from  Khine. 
Ash  der  teufel  once  declaret 

Yen  he  taste  it  on  a  shpree, 
Dat  a  man  to  trink  soosh  liquor 

Moost  a  born  Silesian  pe. 
9 


So  de  all  vent  los  at  Breitmann, 

Und  woonderfool  to  dell, 
He  coomed  to  his  gesundheit, 

Und  pooty  soon  cot  veil, 
Some  hinted  at  Natura 

Mit  de  oldt  vis  sanatrix, 
Boot  each  dokter  shvore  Tie  cured  him, 

Und  de  rest  were  Taugenix. 


I  know  not  vot  der  Breitmann 

More  newly  has  pegun, 
Boot  dey  say  he  dalks  day-daily 

Mit  Dae  a  of  de  Sun. 
Dey  dalk  in  Deutsch  togeder, 

Und  volk  say  de  ent  vill  pe 
Philosopedal  changes 

In  de  Union  cavallrie. 

Gott  help  de  howlin  safage  ! 

Gott  help  de  Indi-an  ! 
Shouldt  Breitmann  choin  his  forces 

Mit  Sheneral  Sheridan. 
Und  denn  to  sing  his  braises 

Acain  I'll  gife  a  lied — 
Hier  hat  dis  dale  an  ende 

Of  Breitmann's  philosopede. 


A  Ballad  apout  de  Rowdies. 

DE  inoon  shines  ofer  de  cloudlens. 
Und  de  cloudts  plow  ofer  de  sea, 
Und  I  vent  to  Coney  Island, 
Und  I  took  mein  Schatz  mit  me. 
Mine  Schatz,  Katrina  Bauer, 

I  gife  her  mein  heart  und  vordt; 
Boot  ve  tidn't  know  vot  beoples 
De  Dampsschiff  hafecot  on  poard. 

De  preeze  plowed  cool  und  bleasant, 

We  looket  at  de  town 
Mit  sonn-light  on  de  shdeebles, 

Und  wetter  fanes  doornin  round. 
Ye  sat  on  de  deck  in  a  gorner 

Und  dropled  nopody  dere, 
Yen  all  around t  oos  de  rowdies 

Peginned  to  plackguard  und  schvear  ! 

A  voman  mit  a  papy 

Yas  sittin  in  de  blace; 
Yon  tooket  a  chew  tobacco 

Und  trowed  it  indo  her  vace. 
De  voinan  got  coonvulshons, 

De  papy  pegin  to  gry  ; 
Und  de  rowdies  shkreemed  out  a  laffin, 

Und  saidt  dat  de  fun  vas  "  high." 
(67) 


68 

Pimepy  ve  become  some  hoonger 

Katrina  Baur  und  I, 
I  openet  de  lit  of  mine  pasket, 

Und  pringed  out  a  cherry  bie. 
A  cherry  kooken  mit  pretzels, 

"  How  goot !"  Katrina  said, 
Yen  a  rowdy  snatched  it  from  her, 

Und  preaked  it  ofer  mine  het. 

I  dells  him  he  pe  a  plackguart 

I  gifed  him  a  biece  my  mind, 
I  vouldt  saidt  it  pefore  a  tousand, 

Mit  der  teufel  himself  pehind. 
Den  he  knocks  me  down  mit  a  sloong-shot, 

Und  peats  me  plack  and  plue  ; 
Und  all  de  plackguardskickme, 

.Dill  I  vainted,  und  dat  ish  drue. 


De  rich  American  beoples 

Don't  know  how  de  rowdies  shtrike 
Der  poor  hardt-workin  Sherman, 

He  knows  it  more  ash  he  like. 
If  de  Deutsche  speakers  und  bapers 

Are  sometimes  too  hard  on  dis  land, 
Shoost  dink  how  de  Deutsch  kit  driven 

Along  by  de  rowdy's  hand  ! 


I 


Wein  Geist. 

STOOMPLED  oud  ov  a  daf'ern, 

Berauscht  mit  a  gallon  of  wein, 
Und  I  rooshed  along  de  Strassen, 
Like  a  derriple  Eberschwein. 


Uod  like  a  lordly  boar-big, 

I  doompled  de  soper  folk ; 
Und  I  trowed  a  shtone  droo  a  slidreed  lamp, 

Und  bot'  of  de  classes  I  proke. 

Und  a  gal  vent  roonin'  bast  me. 

Like  a  vild  coose  on  de  vings, 
Boot  I  gatch  her  for  all  her  skreechin, 

Und  giss  her  like  afery  dings. 

Und  denn  mit  an  board  und  a  shdore-box. 

I  blay  de  horse-viddle  a  biece, 
Bill  de  neighbours  shkreem  u  deat' !"  und 
"  murder  !" 

Und  holler  aloudt  "  bolice  ?" 

Und  vhen  der  crim  night  waechter 
Says  all  of -dis  foon  moost  shtop, 

I  oop  mit  mein  oombrella, 
Und  schlog  him  ober  de  kop. 
(69) 


'0 


I  leaf  him  like  tead  on  de  bavemend, 
Und  roosh  droo  a  darklin'  lane, 

Dill  nioonlighd  und  tisdand  musik, 
Pring  me  roundt  to  my  soul  again. 

Und  I  sits  all  oonder  de  linden, 
De  hearts-leaf  linden  dree ; 

Und  I  dink  of  de  quick  ge-vanisht  lofe 
Dat  vent  like  de  vind  from  me. 

Und  I  voonders  in  mine  dipsy  hood, 
If  a  damsel  or  dream  vas  she  ! 

Dis  life  ish  all  a  lindens 
Mit  holes  dat  show  de  Plue; 

Und  pedween  de  finite  pranches, 
Cooms  Himmel  light  shinin  troo. 

De  blaetter  are  raushlin'  o'er  me, 

Und  efery  leaf  ish  a  fay, 
Und  dey  vait  dill  de  Windsbraut  comet, 

To  pear  dem  in  Fall  afay. 

Und  I  look  at  a  rock  py  de  rifer, 
There  a  stein  ish  of  harpe  form, 

•Year  dausend  in,  oud,  it  shtandet — 
Und  nopody  blays  but  de  shtorm. 


71 

Here  vonce  on  a  dimes  a  vitches, 
Sooni  melodies  here  peginned, 

De  harpe  ward  all  zu  steine, 
Die  melodic  ward  zu  wind. 

Und  so  mit  dis  tox-i-cation, 
Vitch  hardens  de  outer  Me  ; 

Uber  stein  and  schwein,  de  weine, 
Shdill  harps  oud  a  melodic. 

Boot  deeper  de  Ur-lied  ringet, 
Ober  stein  und  wein  und  svines, 

Dill  it  endet  vhere  all  peginnet, 
Und  alles  wird  ewig  zu  eins, 

In  de  dipsy,  treamless  slooraper 
Vhich  units  de  Nichts  und  Seyns. 


Breitmann  in  Politics. 


I.— The  Nomination, 


VHEN  ash  de  var  vas  ober, 
Und  Beace  her  shnow-wice  vings, 
Yas  vafin  o'er  de  coondry 
(In  shpods)  like  afery  dings; 
Und  heroes  vere  revardtet, 

De  beople  all  pegan 
To  say  'tvas  shame  dat  nodings 
Vas  done  for  Breitemann. 

No  man  wised  how  id  vas  shtartet, 

Or  where  der  fore  shlog  came, 
Boot  dey  shveared  it  vas  a  cinder, 

Dereto  a  purnin  shame  : 
"  Dere  is  Schnitzerl  in  de  Gustom-IIouse — 

Potzblitz  !  can  dis  dings  pe  ? — 
Und  Breitmann  he  hafe  nodings  : 

Vot  sights  is  dis  to  see  ! 

"  Nod  de  virst  ret  cendt  for  Breitmann  ! 

Ish  dis  do  pe  de  gry 
On  de  man  dat  sacked  de  repels 
Und  trinked  dena  high  und  dry  ? 

(72) 


73 

By  meine  Seel'  I  shvears  id, 

Und  vot's  more  I  deglares  id's  drue, 

He  vonce  gleaned  out  a  down  in  half  an  oor, 
Und  shtripped  id  strumpf  und  shoe. 

"  He  was  shoost  like  Koenig  Etzel, 

Of  whom  de  shdory  dell, 
Der  Hun  who  go  for  de  Romans 

Und  gife  dem  shinin  hell, 
Only  dis  dat  dey  say  no  grass  vouldt  crow 

Vhere  Etzel's  horse  had  trot, 
Und  I  really  peliefe  vere  Breitmann  go 

De  hops  shpring  oop,  bei  Gott !" 

If  once  you  tie  a  dog  loose, 

Dere  ish  more  soon  gets  arount, 
Und  wenn  dis  vas  shtartedt  on  Breitmann 

It  was  rings  aroom  be-foundt ; 
Dough  vliy  he  moo,s£"hafe  somedings 

Vas  not  by  no  mean  glear, 
Nor  tid  id,  like  Paulus'  confersion, 

On  de  snap  to  all  abbear ! 

Und,  in  facdt,  Balthazar  Bumchen 
Saidt  he  couldtent  nicht  blainly  see 

Vy  a  veller  for  gadderin  riches 
Shood  dus  revartedt  pe  : 
10 


74 


Der  Breitmann  own  drei  Houser. 

Mit  a  wein-handle  in  a  stohr, 
Dazu  ein  Lager- Wirthsch aft. 

Und  sonst  was — somedings  more. 

Dis  plasted  plackguard  none-sense 

Ye  couldn't  no  means  shtand, 
From  a  narrow-mineted  shvine's  kopf, 

Of  our  nople  captain  grand  : 
Soosh  low,  goarse,  betty  bornirtheit 

A  shentleman  deplores ; 
So  ve  called  him  verflucliter  Hundsfott 

Und  shmysed  him  out  of  toors. 

So  ve  all  dissolfed  dat  "Breitmann 

Shouldt  hafe  a  nomination 
To  go  to  de  Legisladoor, 

To  make  some  dings  off  de  nation  ; 
Mit  de  helb  of  a  Connedigut  man, 

In  whom  ve  hafe  great  hobes, 
Who  hat  shange  his  boledics  fivdeen  dimes. 

Und  derefore  knew  de  robes. 


II— The  Committee  of  Instruction. 

DENN  for  our  Insdructions  Comedy 
De  ding  vas  protocollirt, 
By  Docktor  Emsig  Grubler, 
Who  in  Jena  vonce  studiret ; 
Und  for  Breitmann  his  instrugtions 

De  Comedy  tid  say 
Dat  de  All  out-going  from  de  Ones 
Yash  die  first  Moral  Idee. 

Und  de  segondt  crate  Moral  Idee 

Dat  into  him  ve  rings, 
Vas  dat  government  for  avery  man 

Moost  alfays  do  avery  dings  ; 
Und  die  next  Idee  do  vitch  his  mindt 

Esbecially  ve  gall,    . 
Ish  to  do  mitout  a  Bresident 

Und  no  government  at  all. 

Und  die  fourt  Idee  ve  vish  der  Hans 

Vouldt  alfays  keeb  in  new, 
Ish  to  cooldifate  die  Peaudifool, 

Likewise  de  Goot  and  Drue ; 
Und  de  form  of  dis  oopright-hood 

In  proctise  to  present, 
He  most  get  our  little  pills  all  bassed 

Mitout  id's  gostin  a  cent. 
(75) 


76 

Und  die  fifV  Idee — ash  learnin 

Ish  de  cratest  ding  on  eart, 
And  ash.  Shoopider  der  Vater 

To  Minerfa  gife  ge-birt' — 
Ye  peg  dat  Breitmann  oonto  oos 

All  pooblic  tockuments 
Yich  he  can  grap  or  shteal  vill  sendt — 

Franked — mit  his  gompliments. 


Die  sechste  crate  Moral  Idee  — 

Since  id  fery  veil  ish  known 
Dat  mind  ish  de  resooldt  of  food, 

Ash  der  Moleschott  has  shown, 
Und  ash  mind  ish  de  highest  form  of  G-ott, 

As  in  Fichte  dot'  abbear — 
He  moost  alfays  go  mit  de  barty 

Dat  go  for  lager-bier. 

Now  ash  all  dese  instrugdions 

Yere  showed  to  Misder  Twine, 
De  Yangee  boledician, 

He  say  dey  vere  fery  fine  : 
Dey  vere  pesser  ash  goot;  und  almosdt  nice — 

A  tarnal  tall  concern  ; — 
Boot  dey  hafe  some  little  trawpacks, 

Und  in  fagdt  weren't  worth  a  dern. 


77 


Boot  yed,  mit  our  bermission, 

If  de  shentlemans  allow — 
Here  all  der  Shermans  in  de  room 

Dake  off  deir  hats  und  pow — 
He  vouldt  gife  our  honored  gandidate 

Some  nodions  of  his  own, 
Hafing  managed  some  elecdions 

Mit  sookcess,  as  veil  vas  known. 

Let  him  plow  id  all  his  own  vay, 

He'd  pet  as  sure  as  born, 
Dat  our  mann  vouldt  not  coom  out  of 

Der  liddle  endt  der  horn, 
Mit  his  goot  proad  Sherman  shoulders- 

Dis  maket  oos  laugh,  py  ?hink  ! 
So  de  comedy  shtart  for  Breitmann's — 

Nota  bene — afder  a  trink  ! 


Ill— Mr.  Twine  Explains  Being  "  Sound 
Upon  the  Goose." 


DERE  in  his  crate  corved  oaken  shtuhl 
Der  Breitmann  sot  he : 
He  lookt  shoost  like  de  shiant 
In  de  Kinder  hishdorie  ; 
Und  pefore  him,  on  de  tische, 

Vas — vhere  man  alfays  foundt  it — 
Dwelf  inches  of  goot  lage*, 

Mit  a  Boemisch  glass  aroundt  it. 

De  foorst  vordt  dat  der  Breitmann  spoke 

He  maked  no  sbeech  or  sign  : 
De  next  remark  vas,  "  Zapfet  aus .'" — 

De  dird  vas,  (i  JSchenket  ein  /" 
Vhen  in  coomed  liddle  Gottlieb 

Und  Trina  mit  a  shtock 
Of  allerbest  Markgraefler  wein — 

Dazu  dwelf  glaeser  Bock. 


Denn  Misder  Twine  deglare  dat  he 

Vas  happy  to  denounce 
Dat  as  Copdain  Breitmann  suited  oos 

Egsockdly  do  an  ounce, 

(78) 


79 

He  vas  ged  de  nomination, 

And  need  nod  more  eckshblain  : 

Der  Breitmann  dink  in  silence, 

And  denn  roar  aloudt,  CHAMPAGNE  I 

Den  Mishder  Twine,  while  trinken  wein, 

Mitwhiles  vent  on  do  say, 
Dat  long  insdruckdions  in  dis  age 

Arere  nod  de  dime  of  tay  ; 
Und  de  only  ding  der  Breitmann  need 

To  pe  of  any  use 
Vas  slioost  to  dell  to  afery  mans 

He's  soundt  oopon  der  coose. 

Und  ash  dis  little  frase  berhops 

Vas  nod  do  oos  bekannt, 
He  dakes  de  liberdy  do  make 

Dat  ve  shall  oondershtand, 
And  vouldt  tell  a  liddle  shdory 

Vitch  dook  blace  pefore  de  wars  : 
Here  der  Breitmann  nod  to  Trina, 

Und  she  bass  around t  cigars. 

'  Id  ish  a  longe  dime,  now  here, 
•  In  Bennsylvanien's  Shtate, 
All  in  der  down  of  Horrisburg 
Dere  rosed  a  vierce  depate, 


80 


'Tween  vamilies  mit  cooses, 

Und  dose  vhere  none  vere  foundt — 
If  cooses  might,  by  common  law, 

G-o  squanderin  aroundt  ? 

"  Dose  who  vere  nod  pe-gifted 

Mit  gooses,  und  vere  poor, 
All  shvear  de  law  forbid  dis  crime, 

Py  shings  and  cerdain  sure  ; 
But  de  coose-holders  teklare  a  coose 

Greadt  liberty  tid  need, 
And  to  pen  dem  oop  vas  gruel, 

Und  a  mosdt  oon-Christian  teed. 

"  Und  denn  anoder  party 

Idself  tid  soon  refeal, 
Of  arisdograts  who  kepd  no  coose, 

Pecause  'twas  not  shendeel  : 
Tey  tid  not  vish  de  splodderin  geese 

Shouldt  on  deir  pafemends  bass, 
So  dey  shoined  de  anti-coosers, 

Or  de  oonder  lower  glass  !" 

Here  Breitmann  led  his  shdeam  out : 
"  Dis  shdory  goes  to  show 

Dat  in  poledicks,  ash  lager, 
Virtus  in  medio. 


81 

De  drecks  ish  ad  de  pottom — 
De  skoom  floads  high  inteed  ; 

Boot  das  bier  ish  in  de  mittle, 
Says  an  goot  old  Sherman  lied. 

"  Und  shoost  apout  elegdion-dinies 

De  scoom  und  drecks,  ve  see, 
Have  a  pully  Wahl-verwandtschaft, 

Or  election-sympathie." 
"  Dis  is  very  vine/'  says  Misder  Twine, 

tl  Vot  here  you  indroduce  : 
Mit  your  bermission,  I'll  grack  on 
Mit  my  shdory  of  de  coose. 

"  A  gandertate  for  sheriff 

De  coose-beholders  run, 
Who  shvear  de  coose  de  noblest  dings 

Vot  valk  peneat  de  sun  ; 
For  de  cooses  safe  de  Cupidol 

In  Rome  long  dimes  ago, 
Und  Horrisburg  need  safin 

Mighty  pad,  ash  all  do  know. 

"  Acainsd  dis  mighdy  Goose-man 

Anoder  veller  rose, 

Who  keepedt  himself  ungommon  shtill 
Yen  oders  came  to  plows ; 


82 


Und  if  any  ask  how  'twas  he  shtoodt. 

His  vriends  wouldt  viiik  so  loose, 
Und  visper  ash  dey  dapped  deir  nose 

'  He's  soundt  oopon  de  coose  ! 

11  '  He's  0.  K.  oopon  de  soobject; 

Shoost  pet  your  pile  on  dat ; 
On  dis  bartik'ler  quesdion 

He  intends  to  coot  it  fat/ 
So  de  veller  cot  elegded 

Pefore  de  beople  foundt 
On  vitch  site  of  der  coose  it  vas 

He  shtick  so  awful  soundt. 

"  Dis  shdory's  all  I  hafe  to  dell," 

Says  Misder  Hiram  Twine ; 
"  Und  I  advise  Herr  Breitmann 

Shoost  to  vight  id  on  dis  line." 
De  volk  who  of  dese  boledics 
Would  oder  shapters  read, 
Moost  waiten  for  de  segondt  pardt 
Of  dis  here  Breitmann's  Lied. 


IV.— How  Breitmann  and  Schmit  were  Reported 
to  be  Log-Holling. 

ID  happenet  in  de  yar  of  crace, 
Ven  all  dese  dings  pegan, 
Dat  Mislider  Schmit,  de  shap  who  rooned 
Acainsd  der  Breitemann, 

Yas  a  man  who  look  like  Mishder  Twine 
So  moosh  dat  beoples  say 

Dey  pliefe  dey  moost  ge-brudert  pe — 
G-ott  weiss  in  vot  a  vay  ! 

Und  id  vas  also  moosh  be-marked — 

Vitch  look  shoost  like  a  bruder — 
Dat  ven  Twine  vas  vork  on  any  side 

Der  Schmit  vas  on  de  oder  : 
A  fery  gommon  dodge  ish  dis 

Mit  de  arisdocracie  ; 
So  dat  votefer  cardt  toorns  oop, 

Id's  game  for  de  familie  ! 

Nun,  goot !     Howefer  dis  mighdt  pe, 

'Tvas  cerdain  on  dis  hit 
Der  Twine  vas  do  his  teufelest 

To  euchre  Mishder  Schmit ; 
Und  Schmit,  I  criefe  to  say,  exglaimed : 

(<  Gloll  darn  me  for  a  fool, 
But  I'll  smash  old  Dutch  to  cholera  fits 

And  rake  the  eternal  pool !" 
(83) 


84 


So  dey  cot  some  liddle  ladders, 

Ash  brifate  ash  could  pe, 
Vitch  Breitinann  writed  long  agone 

To  friendts  in  Germany  ; 
Und  dey  brinted  dem  in  efery  vay 

To  make  de  beoples  laugh, 
Und  comment  on  dem  in  de  shtyle 

Dat  u sports"  call  '-slasher-gaff." 


Dere  to — as  vash  known  py  shoodshment 

Und  glearly  ascerdaind, 
Dat  Breitmaun  hafe  lossed  money 

Py  a  valse  und  schwindlin  friend — 
So  dey  roon  it  troo  de  newsbapers, 

Uud  shbeech  do  make  pegan, 
Dat  Breitmann  shtole  de  gelt  himself 

Und  rop  der  oder  man. 

Boot  de  ding  dat  jam  de  hardest 

On  de  men  dat  bull  de  vires, 
Und  showed  dat  Captain  Breitmann 

Shtood  pedween  dwo  heafy  vires, 
Yas,  pecause  he  vas  a  soldier — 

Von  could  see  id  at  a  clanse — 
Dey  had  pud  him  in  a  tisdrigt 

Vhere  he  hadn't  half  a  shanse. 


85 

For  ash  de  pold  solidaten 

Ish  more  prafe  ash  oder  mans, 
Dey  moost  lead  de  hope  verloren 

Und  pattle  in  de  vans ; 
Und  ash  defeat  ish  honoraple 

To  men  in  honor  shtrict, 
Dey  honor  dern  py  puttin  em 

There  dey're  cordain  to  pe  licked. 

Boot  dis  dimes  it  shlopped  over, 

Tvas  de  dird  or  secondt  heat 
Dat  a  soldier  in  dis  tisdrigt 

Had  been  poot  oop  und  beat  : 
So  de  Plue  Goats  dink  it  over 

Und  go  quietly  to  vork  : 
De  bow  ven  too  moosh  aufgespannt 

Vlies  pack  ward  mit  a  yerk. 

Now  Mishder  Twine  deglaret  on  dis 

De  ding  seemed  doubtenfull, 
Boot  mitout  delay  he  dock  de  horns 

So  poldly  py  de  bull, 
Und  shpread  de  shdory  eferyvhere, 

Dill  folk  to  pliefe  pegan, 
Dat  Mishder  Schmit  had  sold  de  vight 

Unto  der  Breitemann  ! 


86 


He  fix  de  liddle  tedails — 

How  inoosh  der  Schmit  hafe  got 
For  sellin  out  his  barty 

To  let  Breitmann  haul  de  pot ; 
Und  he  showed  a  brifate  ledder 

From  Breitemann  to  Schmit, 
Vhere  he  bromise  him  for  Congress 

If  he  shoost  let  oop  a  bit. 


Der  Twine  vas  writet  dis  ledder ; 

For  der  Copitain  Breitemann 
Yould  nefer  hafe  shtood  soosh  hoompoogks 

Since  virst  his  life  pegan  ; 
He  hat  tone  some  rough  dings  in  der  war, 

In  de  ploonder-und-morder  line, 
Boot  vas  hoockelperry-persimmoned 

Mit  dese  boledics  of  Twine. 


Howefer,  dis  ledder  vorket  foorst-rade — 

Mit  de  Merigans  pest  of  all, 
For  dey  mostly  dinked  it  de  naturalest  ding 

As  efer  couldt  pefall ; 
For  to  sheat  von's  own  gonstituents 

Ish  de  pest  mofe  in  de  came, 
Und  dey  nefer  sooposed  a  Dootchman 

Hafe  de  sense  to  do  de  same 


V.— How  they  held  the  Mass  Meeting. 

DERE'S  nodings  in  dis  vorldt  so  pad, 
Ash  all  oov  us  may  learn, 
Boot  may  shange  from  dark  to  lighthood, 
If  loock  should  dake  a  doom  • 
So  it  happenet  mit  Breitmann, 

Who  in  shpite  of  sin  und  Schmit, 
Grontrified  ad  shoost  dis  yooncture 
Do  make  a  glucky  hit. 

Dey  hat  sendet  out  some  plackarts 

To  de  Deutsche  buergers  all 
(N.  B. — Dish  ish  not  mean  plackarts, 

Boot  de  pills  dey  shtickon  de  vail), 
To  say  dat  a  Massenversammlung — 

Or  a  meeding  of  all  de  masses — 
Yould  be  held  in  de  Arbeiter-Halle, 

To  consisd  of  de  Sharman  classes. 

Now  dey  gife  de  brintin  of  de  pills 

To  a  new  gekommene  man, 
Who  dinked  dat  Demokratisch 

Vas  de  same  ash  Repooblican  : 
Gott  in  Himmel  weiss  where  he  hid  himself 

On  dish  free  Coloompian  shore 
Dat  he  scaped  de  naturalizationisds, 

Und  hadn't  found  out  pefore. 
(87) 


88 


Boot  to  dis  Deutsche  brinter, 

De  only  tifference  he 
Petween  Repooblicanish 

Und  Demokratisch  tid  see, 
Vas  dat  von  vash  dwo  ledders  longer ; 

So  he  dook  shoost  vot  seem  pat 
To  make  de  poster  handsome — 

Likewise  a  liddle  fat. 

How  ofden  in  dis  buzzlin  life 

Small  grubs  grows  oop  to  vings  ! 
How  ofden  shoost  from  moostard  seet 

A  virst-glass  pusiness  shprings  ! 
Vant  klein  komt  men  tot't  cjrootc, 

Ash  de  Hollanders  hafe  said  : 
Mit  dese  dwo  leddors  Breitemann 

Caved  in  der  Schmitsy's  head. 


VI— Breitmann's  Great  Speech. 

Dis  tale  dat  Schmit  hafe  sell  de  mgJit 
Cot  so  much  put  apout 
Dat  many  of  his  beoples  vere 
In  fery  tupious  toubt ; 
'Pove  all,  dose  who  were  on  de  make, 

And  easy  change  deir  lodge, 
Und,  pein  awfool  smart  demselfs, 
Pelieve  in  every  dodge. 

Vhen  de  meeding  vas  gesempled, 

Und  dey  found  no  Schmit  vas  dere, 
Dey  looket  at  von  anoder 

Mit  a  ganz  erstaunished  air ; 
But  dey  saw  it  glear  as  taylight, 

Und  around  a  vink  dere  ran, 
Yen  pefore  dem  rose  de  shiant  form 

Of  Copitain  Breitemann ! 

Den  Breitemann  vent  los  at  dem  : 

"  He  could  nichts  well  exbress 
De  rapdure  dat  besqueezed  his  hearts — 

De  wonnevol  hoppiness — 
To  meed  in  friendlich  council 

And  glasp  de  hand  of  dose 
Who  had  peen  mit  most  oonreason 

Und  unkindtly  galled  his  foes. 
12  (89) 


90 

"  Berhaps  o'er  all  dis  shmilin  eart' — 

He  vould  say  it  dere  and  deu — 
Soosh  shpecdagles  couldt  nod  pe  seen 

Of  soosh  imbartial  men, 
So  tefoid  of  pase  sospicion, 

So  apove  all  betty  dricks, 
Ash  to  gome  und  lisden  vairly 

To  a  voe  in  poledicks  ; 


"  Dat  ish  to  say,  a  so-galled  voe — 

For  lie  feeled  id  in  his  soul 
Dat  de  Principles  vitch  mofed  dem 

Vere  de  same  oopon  de  whole  ; 
But  he  lack  a  vord  to  exbress  dem 

In  manners  opportunes — " 
Here  a  veller  in  de  gallery 

Gry  oud,  oonkindly,  "  Shpoons  !" 

Und  dere  der  Breitmann  goppled  him  : 

"  If  shpoons  our  modifes  pe, 
Dere's  not  a  man  pefore  oos 

Who  losscd  a  shpoon  by  me  : 
Far  rader  had  I  gife  you  all 

A  shpoons  to  eaten  mit, 
Und  I  hope  to  get  a  ladle  for 

Mmefriendt,  der  Mishder  Schmit" 


91 


Dis  fetch  das  Haus  like  doonder — 

It  raised  der  teufel's  dust, 
Und  for  sefen-lefen  minudes 

Dey  ooplauded  on  a  bust ; 
Und  de  blokes  dat  dinked  of  hedgin 

Saw  a  ring  as  round  as  0  ; 
So  dey  boked  cash  oder  in  de  rips, 

Und  said,  "  I  dold  jou  so  !" 

For  dis  d'lusion  to  de  ladle 

Vas  as  glear  asli  city  milk, 
Und  drawd  it  on  dejbeoples 

So  vine  ash  flossen  silk, 
Dat  Hans  und  Schmitvere  rollin  locks, 

Und  de  locks  were  ready  cut ; 
Only  Breitmann  hafe  de  liddle  end, 

Und  Schmitsy  dake  de  butt ! 

Den  Breitemann  he  crack  onward  : 

"  If  any  'lightened  man 
Will  seeken  in  his  Bibel, 

He'll  find  dat  a  publican 
Is  a  barty  ash  sells  lager ; 

Und  das  ding  is  ferry  blain, 
Dat  a  re  -publican  ish  von 

Who  sells  id  'gain  und  'gain. 


92 

"  Now  since  dat  I  sells  lager, 

I  gant  agreen  mit 
De  demprance  brinciples  I  hear 

Distriputet  to  Schmit ; 
Boot  dis  I  dells  you  vairly, 

Und  no  one  to  teseife — 
If  I  were  Schmit,  I'd  pliefen 

Shoost  vot  der  Sclimit  peliefe. 

"  And  to  mine  Sherman,  liperal  friends 

I  might  mention  in  dis  shpot 
Dat  I  hear  an  oonfoundet  rumor 

Dat  der  Schmit  peliefe  in  Gott ; 
Und  also  dat  he  coes  to  shoorsh — 

Mit  a  prayer-book  for  salfadion  : 
Ivould  not  for  die  welt  say  dings 

To  hoort  his  repudadion. 


"  Und  nodin  is  more  likely 

Dat  it  all  a  shlander  pe, 
So  also  de  rumor  dat  ven  young 

He  shtoody  divinidy  : 
I  myself,  ash  a  publican, 

Moost  pe  a  sinner  by  fate, 
Und  in  dis  sense  I  denounce  myself 

Ash  Re-publi-candidate  ! 


93 


61  Und  dat  ve  may  meed  in  gommon, 

I  declare  here  in  dis  hall — 
Und  I  shvears  mineself  to  hold  to  it, 

Fotefer  may  pef'all — 
Dat  any  man  who  gifes  me  his  fote — 

Yotevefer  his  boledicks  pe — 
Shall  alfayspe  regartet 

Ash  bolidigal  friendt  py  me." 

(Dis  voonderfol  condescension 

Pring  down  drementous  applause, 
Und  dose  who  catch  de  nodion 

Grife  most  derriple  hooraws ; 
Eshbecially  some  Amerigans 

Ash  vas  shtandin  near  de  door, 
Und  who  in  all  deir  leben  long 

Nefer  heard  so  moosh  sense  pefore.) 

"  Dese  ish  de  brincibles  I  holts, 

And  dose  in  vitch  I  run  : 
Dey  ish  fixed  firm  and  irnnmtaple 

Ash  te  course  of  de  'ternal  sun  : 
Boot  if  you  ton't  abbrove  of  dem — 

Blease  nodice  vot  I  say — 
I  shall  only  pe  too  happy 

To  alder  dem  right  afay. 


Und  unto  my  Demogratic  friendts 

I  vould  very  glearly  shtate — 
Since  dis  useless  mit  oop-gecleared  minds 

To  hold  a  long  depate — 
Dat  dere's  no  man  in  de  cidy 

Dat  sells  besser  liquor  ash  I, 
Und  I  shtand  de  tread f&  free-gradis 

Vhenefer  mine  friendts  ish  try. 

i  A<1  finem — in  de  ende — 

I  moost  mendion  do  you  all, 
Dat  a  dootzen  parrels  of  lager  bier 

Ish  a-gomin  to  dis  hall : 
Dere  ish  none  of  mine  own  barty  here, 

Boot  we'll  do  mitout  deir  helfs  ; 
Und  I  kess,  on  de  whole,  'twill  peshoost  sogoot, 

If  ve  trink  it  all  ourselfs." 


Soosh  dremcntous  up-loudation 

Pefore  was  nefer  seen, 
Ash  dey  shvored  dat  Copitan  Breitmann 

Vas  a  brick-pat,  and  no  sardine  ; 
Und  dey  trinked  demselfs  besoffen, 

Sayin,  "  Hope  you  wird  sookceed  !" — 
De  nexter  theil  will  pe  de  ent 

Of  dis  historisch  lied. 


VII— The  Author  Asserts  the  Vast  Intellectual 
Superiority  of  Germans  to  Americans. 

DERE'S  a  liddle  fact  in  hishdory 
Vich  few  hafe  oonderstand — 
Dat  de  Deutschers  are,  de  jure, 
De  owners  of  dis  land  ; 
Und  I  brides  mineself  unspeakbarly 

Dat  I  foorst  make  be-known 
De  primordial  cause  dat  Columpus 
Vas  derivet  from  Cologne  ; 

For  ash  his  name  vas  Colon, 

It  fisibly  does  shine 
Dat  his  elders  are  geboren  been 

In  Co-logne  on  der  Rhein  ; 
Und  Colonia  pein  a  colony, 

It  sehr  bemarkbar  ist 
Dat  Columbus  in  America 

Was  der  firster  colonist. 

Und  ash  Columbus  is  a  tofe, 

Id  is  wort  de  drople  to  mark 
Dat  a  bidgeon  foorst  tiscofered  land 

A-vlyin  from  de  ark ; 
Und  shtill  wider — in  de  peginnin, 

Mitout  de  leastest  toubt, 
A  tofe  vas  vly  ofer  de  wassers 

Und  pring  de  vorldt  herout. 
(95) 


96 


Ash  mine  goot  oldt  teacher  der  Kreutzer 

To  me  tid  often  shbeak, 
De  mythus  of  name  rebeats  idself 

(Vich  ve  see  in  his  Symbolik*) ; 
So  also  de  name  America, 

If  ve  a  liddle  look, 
Vas  coom  from  de  oldt  King  Emerich 

In  de  Deutsche  Ileldenbucli. 


Und  id  vas  from  dat  very  HeldenbucJi — 

How  voonderful  id  run  ! — 
Dat  I  shdole  de  "Song  of  Hildebrand, 

Or  der  Vater  und  der  Son," 
Und  dishtripute  it  to  Breitmann, 

For  a  reason  vitch  now  ish  plain, 
Dat  dis  Sagen-Cyclus,  full-endet, 

Pring  me  round  to  der  Hans  again  ! 


Dese  laws  of  un-endly  un-wigglin 

Ish  so  teep  und  broad  und  tall 
Dat  nopody  boot  a  Deutscher 

Have  a  het  to  versteh  dem  at  all ; 
Und  should  I  write  mine  dinks  all  oud, 

I  ton't  peliefe,  indeed, 
Dat  I  mineself  vould  versteh  de  half 

Of  dis  here  Breitmannslied. 


97 


Ash  de  Hegel  say  of  his  system, 

Dat  only  von  mans  knew 
Vot  der  teufel  id  meandt,  und  Tie  could't  tell; 

Und  der  Jean  Paul  Richter  too, 
Who  said,  u  Grott  knows  I  meant  somedings 

When  foorst  dis  buch  I  writ, 
Boot  Grott  only  wise  vot  de  buch  means  now, 

Vor  I  have  vergotten  it." 


And  all  of  dis  be-wises 

So  blain  ash  de  face  on  your  nose, 
Dat  der  Deutscher  hafe  efen  more  intellects, 

Dan  he  himself  soopose ; 
Und  his  tifference  mit  de  over-again  vorldt, 

Ash  I  really  do  soospect, 
Ish  dat  oder  volk  hafe  more  soopose , 

Und  lesser  intellect. 


Yet  ooprightly  I  gonfess  it — 

Mitout  ashkin  vhy  or  vhence — 
Dere  ish  also  dimes  vhen  Amerigans 

Hafe  ge-shown  sharp-pointed  sense  ; 
Und  a  fery  outsigned  example 

Of  genius  in  dis  line 
Yas  dishblayed  in  dis  elegdion 

Py  Mishder  Hiram  Twine. 


VIII— Showing  How  Mr.  Hiram  Twine 
"Played  off"  on  Smith. 

VIDE  LICET  :  Dere  vas  a  fillage 
Whose  vode  alone  vouldt  pe 
Apout  enoof  to  elegdt  a  man, 
Und  gife  a  majority ; 
So  de  von  who  couldt  scoop  dis  seddlement 

Yould  make  a  pully  hit ; 
Boot  dough  dey  vere  Deutschers,  von  und  all, 
Dey  all  go  von  on  Schmit. 

Now  it  happenet  to  gome  to  bass 

Dat  in  dis  liddle  town 
De  Deutsch  vas  all  exshpegdin 

Dat  Mishder  Schmit  coom  down, 
His  brinciples  to  fore-setzen 

Und  his  idees  to  deach, 
(Dat  is,  fix  oop  de  brifate  pargains) 

Und  telifer  a  pooblic  sbeech. 

Now  Twine  vas  a  gyrotwistive  cuss, 

Ash  blainly  ish  peen  shown, 
Und  vas  alfays  an  out-findin 

Yotefer  might  pe  known  ; 
Und  mit  some  of  his  circumswindles 

He  fix  de  matter  so 
Dat  he'd  pe  himself  at  dis  nieetin 

And  see  how  dings  vas  go. 
(98) 


99 

Oh  shtrangely  in  dis  leben 

De  dings  kits  vorked  apout ! 
Oh  voonderly  Fortuna 

Makes  toorn  us  insite  out ! 
Oh  sinkular  de  luck-wheel  rolls  ! 

Dis  liddle  meeding  dere 
Fixt  Twine  ad perpendiculum — 

Shoost  suit  him  to  a  hair  ! 


Now  it  hoppenit  on  dis  efenin 

De  Deutschers,  von  und  all, 
Yere  avaitin  mit  impatience 

De  openin  of  de  ball ; 
Und  de  shates  of  nite  vere  fallin 

Und  de  shdars  begin  to  plink, 
Und  dey  vish  dat  Schmit  vouldt  hoorry, 

For  d'vas  dime  to  dake  a  trink. 

Dey  hear  some  hoofs  a-dramplin, 

Und  dey  saw,  und  dinked  dey  knowed, 
Der  bretty  greature  coomin, 

On  his  horse  along  de  road  ; 
Und  ash  he  ride  town  in-ward 

De  likeness  vas  so  plain 
Dey  donnered  out,  "  Hooray  for  Schmit!" 

Enough  to  make  it  rain. 


100 

Der  Twine  vas  shtart  like  plazes; 

Boot  oopshtarted  too  his  wit, 
Und  he  dinks,  "  Great  Turnips  !  what  if  I 

Could  bass  for  Colonel  Schmit  ? 
Gaul  dern  my  heels  !     Til  do  if, 

Und  go  the  total  swine  ! 
Oh,  Soap-balls  !  what  a  chance  !"  said  dis 

Dissembulatin  Twine. 

Den    'twas    "  Willkomm !   willkomm,   Mishder 
Schmit !" 

Kingsroom  on  efery  site  ; 
Und  "  First-rate  !     How  dy-do  yourself?" 

Der  Hiram  Twine  replied. 
Dey  ashk  him, "  Come  und  dake  a  trink  ?" 

But  dey  find  it  mighdy  queer 
Yen  Twine  informs  dem  none  boot  hogs 

Yould  trink  dat  shtinkin  bier  ; 

Dat  all  lager  vas  nodings  boot  boison  ; 

Und  ash  for  Sherman  wein, 
He  dinks  it  vas  erfounden 

Exshbressly  for  Sherman  schwein  ; 
Dat  he  himself  vas  a  demperanceler — 

Dat  he  gloria  in  de  name  ; 
Und  atfisedem  all,  for  tecency's  sake, 

To  ero  und  do  de  same. 


101 

Dese  bemarks  among  de  Deutschers 

Vere  apout  ash  veil  receife 
Ash  a  cats  in  a  game  of  den-bins, 

Ash  you  may  of  coorse  peliefe  : 
De  heat  of  de  reception 

Vent  down  a  dootzen  tegrees, 
Und  in  place  of  hurra ws  dere  vas  only  heard  t 

De  rooslin  of  de  drees. 


Und  so  in  solemn  stille 

Dey  scorched  him  to  de  hall, 
Vhere  he  maket  de  oradion 

Vitch  vas  so  moosh  to  blease  dem  all 
Und  dis  vay  he  pegin  it  : 

"  Pefore  I  furder  go, 
I  vish  dat  my  obinions 

You  puddin-het  Dootch  should  know. 

"Und  ere  I  norate  to  you, 

I  think  it  only  fair 
We  should  oonderstand  each  other 

Prezactly,  chunk  and  square. 
Dere  are  boints  on  vhich  ve  tisagree, 

And  I  will  plank  de  facts — 
I  don't  go  round  slanganderin 

My  friendts  pehind  deir  packs. 


102 

So  I  beg  you  dake  it  easy 

If  on  de  raw  I  touch, 
Vhen  I  say  I  can't  apide  de  sound 

Of  your  groontin,  shi-shing  Dutch. 
Should  I  in  the  Legisladure 

As  your  slumgullion  shtand, 
I'll  have  a  bill  forbidding  Dutch 

Troo  all  dis  'versal  land. 


"Should  a  husband  talk  it  to  his  frau, 

To  deaf  he  should  pe  led ; 
If  a  mutter  breat'  it  to  her  shild, 

I'd  bunch  her  in  de  head ; 
Und  I'm  sure  dat  none  vill  atfocate 

Ids  use  in  public  schools, 
Oonless  dey're  peastly,  nashdy,  prutal, 

Sauerkraut-eatin  vools. 


Here  Mishder  Twine,  to  gadder  breat, 

Shoost  make  a  liddle  pause, 
Und  see  sechs  hundert  gapin  eyes, 

Sechs  hundert  shdarin  chaws, 
Dey  sh  tan  den  erstarrt  like  frozen ; 

Yon  faindly  dried  to  hiss; 
Und  von  set  :  "  Ish  it  shleeps  I'm  treamin  ? 

Gottausend!  vat  ish  dis  ?" 


103 

Twine  keptet  von  eye  on  de  vindow, 

Boot  poldly  went  ahet : 
"  Of  your  oder  shtinkin  hobits 

No  vordt  needt  hier  pe  set. 
Shtop  goozlin  bier — shtop  shmokin  bipes- 

Shtop  rootin  in  de  mire  ; 
Und  shoost  un-Dutchify  yourselfs  : 

Dat's  all  dat  I  require." 


Und  denn  dere  coomed  a  shindy 

Ash  if  de  shky  hat  trop : 
"  Trow  him  mit  ecks,  py  doonder  ! 

Go  shlog  him  on  de  kop  ! 
Hei!     Shoot  him  mit  a  powie-knifes  ; 

Go  for  him,  ganz  and  gar  ! 
Shoost  tar  him  mit  some  fedders  ! 

Led's  fedder  him  mit  tar!" 


Sooch  a  teufel's  row  of  furie 

Yas  nefer  oop-kickt  before : 
Soom  roosh  to  on-climb  de  blatform — 

Soom  hoory  to  fasten  te  toor  : 
Von  veller  vired  his  refolfer, 

Boot  de  pullet  missed  her  mark : 
She  coot  de  cort  of  de  shandelier  : 

It  veil,  und  de  hall  vas  tark ! 


104 

Oil  veil  was  it  for  Hiram  Twine 

Datnimply  he  couldt  shoomp; 
Und  veil  dat  he  light  on  a  misthauf, 

Und  neferfeel  deboomp; 
Und  veil  for  him  dat  his  goot  cray  horse 

Shtood  sattled  shoost  outside; 
Und  veil  dat  in  an  augenblick 

He  vas  off  on  a  teufel's  ride. 


Bang  !  bang  !  de  sharp  pistolen  shots 

Vent  pipin  py  his  ear, 
Boot  he  tortled  oop  de  barrick  road 

Like  any  mountain  deer  : 
Dey  trowed  der  Hiram  Twine  mit  shteins, 

Eut  dey  only  could  be-mark 
Von  climpse  of  his  vhite  obercoadt, 

Und  a  clotterin  in  de  tark. 


So  dey  all  versembled  togeder, 

Ein  ander  to  sprechen  mit, 
Und  allow  dat  sooch  a  rede 

Dey  nefer  exshpegd  from  Schmit — 
Dat  he  vas  a  foorst-glass  plackguard, 

And  so  pig  a  Lump  ash  ran  ;- 
So,  nemine  contradicentey 

Dey  vented  for  Breitemann. 


105 

Und  'twas  annerthalb  yar  dereafter 

Before  der  Schmit  vas  know 
Vot  maket  dis  rural  Ullage 

Go  pack  oopon  him  so  ; 
Und  he  schvored  at  de  Dootch  more  schlimmcr 

Ash  Hiram  Twine  had  tone. 
Nota  bene :  He  tid  it  in  earnesht, 

Vhile  der  Hiram's  vas  pusiness  fun. 


Bootvhen  Breitmann  heard  de  shdory 

How  de  Ullage  hat  peen  dricked, 
He  shvore  bei  Leib  ur,d  Leben 

He'd  rader  hafe  been  licked 
Dan  pe  helpet  bei  soosh  shumgoozlin  ; 

Und  'twas  petter  to  pe  a  schwein 
Dan  aschwindlin  honeyfooglin  shnake, 

Like  dat  lyin  Yankee  Twine. 

Und  pegot  so  heafy  disgoosted 

Mit  de  boledicks  of  dis  land 
Dat  his  friendts  couldn't  barely  keep  him 

From  trowinoop  his  hand,  [poot : 

Vhen  he  helt  shtraidt  flush,  mit  an  ace  in  his 

Vich  phrase  ish  all  de  same, 
In  de  science  of  de  pokerology, 

Ash  if  he  got  de  game. 
14 


106 
So  Breitmann  cot  ele^tet, 

O  ? 

Py  vollowin  de  vay 
Dey  manage  de  elegdions 

Unto  dis  fery  day ; 
Vitch  shows  de  Deutsch  Dummehrliclikeity 

Also  de  Yankee  "  wit :" 
Das  ist  das  Abenteuer 

How  Breitmann  lick  der  Sclimit 


GLOSSARY. 


Ach  toeh — An  exclamation  of  pain. 

Alia  veil— All  the  while. 

Alles  wird  ewig  zu  eins,  ( Ger.)— And  all  for  ever  becomes  ore. 

Alter  ScJnced'.  (old  Swede)— A  familiar  phrase,  like  old  fellow. 

Anti  Word  ;  Antwort — Answer. 

Antworded,  (Ger.) — Answered. 

Annerthalb  Yar,  Anderthalb  TaJir,  (Ger.)— Year  and  a  half. 

Arbeiterhalle — Working-man's  hall. 

Aroom,  Herum — Around. 

Arminius,  (Herman.)— The  Duke  of  the  Cheruskans,  and  destroyer 
of  the  Roman  legions  under  Varus,  in  Teutoburg  Forest. 

Aus,  (Ger.)— Out. 

Aufgesjtannt,  (Ger.) — Stretched,  bent. 

Aitgenblick,(Ger.) — Twinkling  of  an  eye. 

Bach,  (Ger.)— Brook. 

Barrick,  (Pennsylvania  Ger.  for  Berg,} — Mountain. 

Barrel-hell  pars— Parallel  bars;  a   part  of  the    gymnastic   appa 
ratus. 

Bey  if  ted — Beschenkt. 

Bei  Leib  und  Leben,  (Ger.)— By  my  body  and  soul. 

Bekannt,  Beknown — Known. 

Berauscht,  ( Ger.) — Intoxicated. 

Beatimmung  des  Menschen — Vocation  of  Man.  One  of  Fichte's  works. 

Remarks,  (Ger.  Bemcrkitngen) — Remarks. 

Bemerkbar,  ( Ger.) — Observable. 

Be-mark,  (Ger.  Bemerken}— Observe. 

Bender,  (Amer.)— A  spree;  a  frolic.     To  "go  on  a  bender"— to  go 
on  a  spree. 

Beso/en,  (Ger.)— Drunk. 

Bewises,  (Ger.  Beiceist,  from  Beuceisen] — Proves. 
Bibliothek — Library. 

Blaetter,  (Ger.)-  Leaves. 

Blei— Lead. 

(107) 


108 

Blx,  Buchse,  (box) — Rifle.  Bess  in  Brown  Bess  is  the  equivalent 
of  the  German  Buchse,  (Brown  being  merely  an  alliterative 
epithet;)  French,  base  tube;  Flemish,  buis.  (Still  found  in 
blunderbuss,  arquebuss.)  See  Blackley's  "  Word  Gossip." 

Blitzen,  (Ger.)  Lightning. 

Blokes,  (English)— Men. 

Bock — A  strong  kind  of  German  beer. 

Boemisch — Bohemian. 

Bornirtheit — Limitedness  of  capacity. 

Bool— Bull. 

Bowery — A  street  in  New  York,  inhabited  principally  by  Germans. 

Breit,  (Ger.)— Broad. 

Bring  it  down  to  dots — Reduce  it  to  figures. 

Broosli-plnder — Brushbinder,  (Ger.  Buerstenbinder.) — Brushmaker. 
The  brushmakers  are  supposed,  probably  on  account  of  their 
throat-parching  business;  to  be  always  thirsty. 

Brisner — Prisoner. 

Butterbrod,  (Ger.)— Buttered  Bread. 

Bummer,  (Amer.) — A  low  fellow;  applied,  during  the  late  civil 
war  in  the  United  States,  to  hangers-on  of  the  army  ;  probably 
a  corruption  of  the  German  bummler  (loafer.) 

By — Nearly  ;  Beinahe — Almost,  nearly. 

Came — Game. 

Canyon,  (Span.  Carton) — A  narrow  passage  between  high  precipi 
tous  banks,  formed  by  mountains  or  tablelands,  often  with  a 
river  running  beneath.  These  occur  in  the  great  Western 
prairies,  in  New  Mexico  and  California. 

Change  their  lodge — Shift  from  one  "  society"  to  another. 

Chroc — An  Alemannic  hero,  who  ravaged  Gaul.  Spoken  of  by  Ger- 
gory,  of  Tours,  as  Chrocus. 

Chunk — A  short  thick  piece  of  wood,  or  of  anything  else  ;  a  chump. 
The  word  is  provincial  in  England  and  colloquial  in  the 
United  States. 

Cinder,  Suende — German  for  sins. 

Comedy — Committee. 

Cotiradin — The  last  of  the  imperial  house  of  the  Hohenstaufen — 
beheaded  at  Naples,  in  1268. 

Coot — (To  cut)  a  dash,  (to  come  out  a  "swell,")  to  dress  extrava 
gantly. 

Crate — Great. 

Da  ist  er!  Schrtu! — There  he  is  !  look  ! 

Deck — The  cards  used  in  a  game. 

Dcmperanceler,  Temper enzler — Temperance  man. 


109 

Dessauerinn — A  woman  from  Dessau. 

Dink — he,  they  think;  my  dinks — my  thoughts. 

D inked— He,  they  thought. 

Dishtriputet — Instead  of  attributed. 

Dissembulatin' — Dissembling. 

Dissolfed — Instead  of  resolved. 

D'lusion — Instead  of  allusion. 

Donnered,  (Ger.) — Thundered. 

Donnerwetter,  (Ger.) — Thunder  and  lightning. 

Doonderblix — Thunder  and  lightning. 

Doon — Tune. 

Drawed  he  in — (literal  rendering  of  the  German,  Zog  er  ein,)  Ein- 
ziehen,  to  take  up  one's  abode  with. 

Dreimal,  (Ger.) — Three  times. 

Drocks — Drakes,  dragons;  (Ger.) — Drachen. 

Dummehrlichkeit,  (Ger.) — Honest  simplicity. 

Eberschwein,  (Ger.)— Wild  boar. 

Einander  to  sprechen  mit,  (Ger.) — To  speak  together. 

Eldern,  (Ger.  Eltern) — Parents. 

Emerich — King  Emerich,  hero  of  a  German  legend. 

Eimiij  Gruebler,  (Ger.)Assidious  inquirer;  Plodding  old  fogy. 

Entlang,  (Ger.) — Along. 

Erfounden,  (Ger.  Erfunden) — Invented. 

Erstarrt,  (Ger.) — Aghast. 

Erstaunished,  erstaunt — Astonished  ! 

Erwaitin',  (Ger.  Erwartend) — Awaiting,  expecting. 

Fackel  Tanz,  (Ger.)— Torch  dance. 

Fancy  crabs — Fast  horses. 

Fanes,   Wetterfahnen — Weathercocks,  (double  entente.) 

Fat — Printer's  term. 

Feldwebel,  (Ger.) — A  sergeant. 

Fichte — German  philosopher. 

Finster,  (Ger.) — Dark,  dismal. 

Foil— To  fall. 

JW—ftdL 

Foon — Fun. 

Foors — First. 

Foreschlag,  (Ger.  Vorschlag] — Proposal. 

Foresetzen — To  set,  put  (lay)  before  an  audience. 

Freie,  (Ger.)— Free. 

Freischarlinaer,  (Ger.  FreiscTiaerler) — A  member  of  a  Free  Corps; 
especially  applied  to  those  who  belonged  to  the  Free  Corps 
formed  in  Southern  Germany  during  the  revolution  in  1848. 


110 

FreiecTiuetz,  (Ger.)— Free  shot;  one  who  shoots  with  charmed  bul 
lets;  the  name  of  Karl  Maria  Von  Weber's  celebrated  opera. 

Friederich  Eothbart — Frederic  Barbarossa,  the  great  emperor  of 
Germany,  and  one  of  the  German  Legendary  heroes.  He  is 
supposed  to  sleep  in  the  Kytinauser  in  Thuringia,  and  to 
awaken  one  day,  when  he  will  bring  great  glory  over  Ger 
many. 

Frolic — Frb'hlich,  merry. 

Gambrinua—k  mythical  king  of  Brabant,  supposed  to  have  been 
the  inventor  of  beer. 

Gander  tate — Candidate. 

Ganz  und  gar,  (Ger.)— Altogether ;  all  over. 

Ganz,  (Ger.)— Ganz. 

Gast,  (Ger.) — Guest. 

Ge-birt',  (Ger.  Geburt)— Birth. 

Ge-bildet — Built,  with  the  German  augment. 

Geborn — Born,  with  the  augment. 

Ge-brudert,  (formed  like  ge-schwister.) — Brothers. 

Gehst  nit  mit  rechten  Ding  en  zn — Dost  not  do  it  by  any  natural 
means  ;  there  is  witchcraft  in  it. 

Gekommene — Arrived,  (newly  arrived.) 

Gelt,  (Ger.  Geld)— Money. 

Gensy  broost,  (Ger.  Gdnsebrust] — Goose-breast. 

Ge-roasted — Roasted,  with  German  augment. 

Gesembled — Assembled,  with  the  augment  of  the  German  preterite. 

Geshmasht— Smashed,  with  German  augment. 

Gespicked,  (Ger.) — Larded. 

Gesundheit,  (Ger.)— Health. 

Geanngverein,  ( Ger.) — Singing-society. 

Geskostet — Cost,  with  the  German  augment. 

ffUt — In  the  ordinary  sensa,  and  also  in  the  same  verse,  "gilt," 
implying  the  meaning  of  the  German  verb  "  gelten,"  to  be 
worth  something  andr/mVf. 

Glee-wine,  Gluhwein — Hot  spiced  wine. 

Glueck,  (Ger.)— Luck. 

Glucky,  (Ger.  GluecklicJi)— Lucky. 

GW— Cool. 

Go-8creech,'Ge8chrei— Bawling,  clamour. 

Gott-full,  gottcoll — Glorious,  divine. 

Gottallmachty,  (Ger.  Gottallinachtiy) — God  Almighty. 

Gott  weiss.  (Ger.) — Heaven  knows! 

Gottsdonnerkreuzschockschwerenoth,  (Ger.) — Another  variety  of 
big  swearing. 


Ill 

Gott's-doonder,  (G-er.  Gott's  Donner] — God's  thunder.  See  also 
Gott's  tauaend,  a  thundering  sort  of  oath,  but  never  preceded 
by  lightning,  for  it  is  only  used  as  a  kind  of  expletive  to  ex 
press  great  surprise,  or  to  give  great  emphasis  to  words  which, 
without  it,  would  seem  to  be  capable  of  none. 

Gettstausend,  (Ger.) — An  abbreviation  of  Gott's  tausend  Donner- 
wetter  (God's  thousand  thunders),  and  therefore  the  compara 
tive  of  Gott's  doonder;  with  most  of  those  who  use  it,  a  mean 
ingless  phrase. 

Grod,  yerard — straight. 

Gross,  (Ger.)— Great. 

Guestfriendtlick,  gasffrenndlicJi — Hospitable. 

Gummi  lasticum — India  Rubber. 

Go  von — Go  one;  bet  on  him. 

Gyrotwistive — Snaky. 

Hagel!  Blitz!  Kreuz  Sakrament !  (Ger.)— Another  variety  of 
swearing. 

Hand-shoe,  (Ger.  HandscTinJi) — Glove. 

Hans  Wurst — Merry  Andrew  ;  Zani ;  Jack  Pudding — the  latter 
word  being  a  literal  translation  of  the  German  Hans  Wurst; 
the  pudding  in  either  case  referring  to  the  sausages,  or  the 
pretended  sausages,  which  the  Merry  Andrew  always  ap 
peared  to  be  swallowing  by  the  yard  or  fathom.  See  Blackleg's 
Word  Gossip. 

Haul  te  pot— Take  the  stakes. 

Hause — House. 

Hegel — Name  of  the  German  philosopher. 

Heldenbuch — Is  the  title  of  a  collection  of  epic  poems,  belonging 
to  the  cycle  of  the  German  Saga. 

Heller  Glorie  schein — Bright  gloriole. 

Herout,  (Ger.  Heraus)— Out. 

Herr  Je,  (Ger.) — An  abbreviation  of  Herr  Jesus  (0  Lord  !);  gene 
rally  only  used  by  those  who  are  fond  of  meaningless  excla 
mations. 

Hertszen — Herzen  ;  hearts. 

Hexerei — Witchery,  sorcery. 

Hertzhog,  Herzog,  (Ger.) — Duke. 

Himmel,  (Ger.) — Heaven. 

Hobbiness — Happiness. 

Hoellitch,  (Ger.)— Hellish. 

Honey  fooglin',  Honeyfucjcjle — Is  believed  to  be  English  slang.  In 
America  it  means  blarneying,  deceiving. 

Hop-sossa,  (Ger.)  int. — Hop  ;  heyday. 


112 

Hoockle  perry,  Persimmoned — "A  huckleberry  over  my  persim 
mon."  Surpassed;  outdone. 

Hundsfott,  (Ger.Vulg.) — Mean  scoundrel ;  hound. 

Joss-stick — A  name  given  to  small  reeds,  covered  with  the  dust  of 
odoriferous  woods,  which  the  Chinese  burn  before  their  idols. 

Jungfernkranz,  (Ger.) — Bridal  garland. 

Kaiser  Karl — Charlemagne. 

Kartoffell,  (Ger.)— Potato. 

Kellner,  (Ger.) — Waiter. 

Kinder,  (Ger.)— Children. 

Knasterbart,  (Ger.) — Literally,  tobacco-beard;  a  tough,  old 
bearded,  old-fashioned  fellow. 

Kneiperei,  (Ger.) — Revel. 

Knock  dem  out  de  shpots — Knock  the  spots  out  of  them;  astonish, 

Kcenig  Etzel — King  Attila. 

Komm  maidelein!  Eoihe  waengelein,  (Ger.) — Come  maiden,  red 
cheeks. 

Kop,  (Ger.  Kopf}—  Head. 

Kopf,  (Ger.)— Head. 

Kreutzer — Fr.  Creutzer,  distinguished  professor  in  the  University 
of  Heidelberg,  author  of  a  great  work  on  "  Symbolik." 

Krumm,  (Ger.) — Crooked.  Breit  und  krumm — Broad  and  crooked. 
Here,  a  pun  on  bride  and  groom. 

Kummel,  Kimmel,  (Ger.) — Schnapps;  dram. 

Lager  Wirthschaft,  (Ger.) — Beerhouse. 

Lager,  Lagerbeer,  (Ger.  Lagerbier,  i.  e.  Stockbeer.) 

Lam — To  drub  ;  beat  soundly. 

Lateinisch — Latin. 

Laughen,  lachen — Laughing. 

Lebenlang,  (Ger.) — Life-long. 

Libby — The  notorious  Coniederate  prison  at  Richmond,  Va. 

Liddle  Pills — Legislative  enactments. 

Liederkranz,  ( Ger.) — Glee-union. 

LiederlicJi,  (Ger.) — Loose,  reckless,  dissolute. 

Lighthood,  (Ger.  LichtJieif]  Licht. 

Los,  losgehen,  (Ger.) — To  go  at  a  thing,  at  somebody. 

Loosty,  (Ger.  Lustig) — Jolly  :  merry. 

Lump,  (Ger.) — Ragamuffin. 

Maedchen,  (Ger.) — Girl;  maiden. 

Marmorbild — Marble  statue. 

Markgraefler — A  pleasant  light  wine  grown  in  the  Duchy  of  Baden. 

Maskenzug,  (Ger.) — Procession  of  masked  persons. 

Massenversammlung,  (Ger.) — Mass  meeting. 


113 

Meine  Seel',  (Ger.) — By  my  soul. 

Mein  Freund — My  Friend. 

Mineted — Minded. 

Minnesinger— Poet  of  love,  a  name  given  to  German   lyric  poets, 
who'flourished  from  the  twelfth  to  the  fourteenth  centuries. 

Mitternoclit,  JM itternacht — Midnight. 

Mitternight,  Mitternacht — Midnight. 

Mitout — Without. 

Mizt  hauf,  (Ger.)— Dung-hill. 

Moleschott — Author  of  a  celebrated  work  on  Physiology. 

Morgen-het-ache — Morning  headache. 

Murmulte — Murmured. 

Nibelungen  Lied — The  lay  of  the  Nibelungen ;  the  great  German 
national  epos. 

Nix,  (Ger.  Nichts)— Nothing. 

Nix  cum  raus — Had  not  come  out. 

Nor  ate — To  speak  in  an  oration. 

No  sardine — Not  a  narrow-minded,  small-hearted  fellow. 

Nun — Now. 

Oder— Other. 

On-did,  to  on-do — lateral  translation  of  the  German  anthem  ;  to 
dun,  to  put  on. 

On  de  snap — All  at  once. 

On  fang,  (Ger.  An  fang} — Beginning. 

OoiwJipeakbnrly,  (Ger.  unanssprechbarlich) — Inexpressibly. 

Oonendly — Undenlich. 

Oop-gecleared,  (Ger.  Aitfgeklaert) — Enlightened. 

Oopriyht-hood.  (Ger.  Avfrichtigkeit) — Uprightness. 

Oopnghtg,  (Ger.  Aufviehtig] — Upright. 

Oopshtardet.  (Ger.  Aufy  eschar  ft)— Upstarted. 

Orkester — Orchestra. 

Out-signed,  (Ger.  amgezeicltnete} — DiFtinguished,  signal. 

Over  again — Uebrigen — The  remainder  ;  a  rest. 

Pabst,  Der  Pabst  lelt,  &c. — "  The  Pope  he  leads  a  nappy  life/'  &c., 
beginning  of  a  popular  German  song. 

Pelznickel,  Nick,  Nickel! — St.  Nicolas  is  supposed,  on  the  night 
preceding  his  name-day,  the  sixth  of  December,  to  pass  over 
the  house-tops  on  his  long-eared  steed,  and  having  baskets 
suspended  on  either  side  filled  with  sweets  and  playthings, 
and  to  drop  down  through  the  chimneys  presents  for  those 
children  who  have  been  good  during  the  year,  but  birch-rods 
for  those  who  have  been  naughty,  would  not  go  to  bed  early, 
or  objectetj  to  being  washed,  &c.  In  the  expectation  of  his 

15 


114 

coming,  the  children  put,  on  the  eve  of  St.  Nicolas  day,  either 
a  shoe,  or  a  stocking,  or  a  little  basket,  into  the  chimney-piece 
of  their  parent's  bed-room.  We  may  remark,  by  the  way, 
that  St.  Nicolas  is  the  Christian  successor  of  the  heathen 
Nikudr,  of  ancient  German  mythology.  In  America  he  has 
become  confused  with  Christkinder  and  Christkinkel. 

Pesser,  besser.  (Ger.) — Better. 
Pfeil,  (Ger.)— Arrow. 

Philoaopede — Velocipede. 

Plue  goats — Blue  coats ;  soldiers. 

Poker — A  favorite  game  of  cards  among  Western  gamblers. 

Pokal,  (Poculum)— Gohlet. 

Potzblitz,  (Ger.)— int.,  The  deuce. 

Potztausend  !      Was  ist  das  f— Zounds  !     What  is  that  ? 

Poulterie — Poultry. 

Poussiren — To  court. 

Pretzel,  (Ger.) — A  kind  of  fancy  bread,  twist  or  the  like. 

Prezackly — Precisely,)  exactly. 

Protocollirt,  protocolliren — To  register,  record. 

Pumpernickel — A  heavy,  hard  sort  of  rye-bread. 

Pye—To  buy. 

Raushlin',  rauschend — Rustling. 

Reb — An  abbreviation  of  rebel. 

Redakteur — Editor. 

Rede,  (Ger.) — speech. 

Rheinweinbechers  Klang — The  Rhine  wine  goblet's  sound. 

Richter,  (Jean  Paul,  Fr.) — Distinguished  German  author. 

Ring — A  political  clique  or  cabal. 

Roland — One  of  the  paladins  of  Charlemagne. 

Rollin'  locks — Rolling  logs  :  mutually  aiding. 

Rouse,  (Ger.  Heraus) — Out;  come  out. 

Rosen,  (Ger.) — Roses. 

Sagen  Cyclus — Cycle  of  legends. 

Sass,  Sassy,  Sassin' — Sauce,  saucy,  &c. 

Sauerkraut,  (Ger.) — Sour  krout. 

Saw  it — Understood  it. 

Schimpft  und  fluent  gar  laesterlich,  (Ger.) — Swears  and  blasphemes 
abominably. 

Schinken,  (Ger.)— Ham. 

Schlesierwein,  (Ger.) — Wine  grown  in  Silesia,  proverbially  sour. 

Schlog  him  ober  de  kop — Knocked  him  on  the  head. 

Schnapps,  (Ger.) — Dram. 

Schnitz— Pennsylvania  German  word  for  cut  and  dried  fruit. 


115 

Schnitz,  schnitzen,  (Ger.)— To  chop,  chip,  snip.  In  Pennsylvania 
Schnitz  or  Suits,  is  applied  to  cut  and  dried  fruit,  apples, 
pears,  or  peaches.  It  was,  I  believe,  Prof.  Henry  Coppee, 
who  narrated,  in  Lippincott's  Magazine,  a  story  to  tho  effect 
that  a  school  teacher  once  asked  his  clsss  if  an  apple  -were  cut 
in  two,  what  would  the  pieces  be  called.  <l  Halves,"  replied 
the  boys'.  "And  if  cut  again  ?"  "  Quarters."  "  And  then 
cut  again?"  "  Snitz,"  was  the  unanimous  answer. 

Schoppen,  (Ger.) — A  liquid  measure,  chopin,  pint. 

Schweinblatt — (Swine)  Dirty  paper. 

Schtceitzer  kase,  (Ger.) — Swiss  cheese. 

Schlopped — Slopped. 

Schenket  ein,  (Ger.)— Pour  in,  (fill  the  glasses.) 

Schlimmer,  (Ger.) — Worse. 

Schicif/,  Swig,  verb. — To  drink  oy  large  draughts. 

Schwigs,  Swig,  n. — A  large  draught. 

Shpicket — Spigot;  a  pin  or  peg  to  stop  a  small  hole  in  a  cask  of 
liquor. 

Scoop — Take  in  ;  get. 

Scorched — Escorted;  a  negro  malapropism. 

Sefen-lefen — Seven  or  eleven. 

Seins,  (Ger.)— The  Being. 

Seifenblasen — Soap  balls. 

Selbstanchauungsvermogen,  (Ger.) — Capacity  for  self-inspection. 

Serenity — A  transparency. 

Schlager,  (Ger.) — A  kind  of  sword  or  broadsword;  a  rapier  used 
by  students  for  duelling  or  fighting  matches. 

Shanty — A  board  cabin ;  slang  for  house. 

Sharman,  Sherman — German. 

Shings — Jingo ;  by  Jingo. 

Shlished,  geschliizt—Slit. 

Shmysed,  (Ger.  Schmyssen,  from  Schmeissen) — Threw  him  out  of 
doors. 

Slinow-wice.  (Ger.  Schnee-weis} — Snow-white. 

.Shoopider — Jupiter. 

Show-spiel,  Schauspid — Play;  piece. 

Shpoons — Spoons  ;  plunder. 

Shtuhl,  (Ger.  Stuhl)— Stool;  chair. 

Sinn,  (Ger.) — Meaning. 
Six  metis — Six  times. 
Skeeted—Went  fast ;  skated  (?) 
Skool— Skull. 


116 

Skyugle,  (Amer.) — "  Skyugle"  is  a  word  which  had  a  short  run  du 
ring  1864.  It  meant  many  things,  but  chiefly  to  disappear  or 
to  make  disappear.  Thus  a  deserter  "skyugled/'  and  sometimes 
he  "  skyugled  a  coat  or  watch." 

Slang ander in' — Foolishly  slandering. 

Slasher  gaffs — Spurs  lor  cocks,  with  cutting  edges. 

Slibowitz — A  Bohemian  schnapps  distilled  from  plums. 

Slop  over — Go  too  far  and  upset  or  spill.  Applied  to  men  who 
venture  too  far  in  a  success. 

Slumgoozlin' — Slum  or  slum-guzzling  ;  humhug. 

Slumgullion — A  Mississippi  term  for  a  legislator. 

Solidaten,  (Ger.  Soldaten) — Soldiers. 

So  mit,  (Ger.) — Thus  with. 

Sottelet,  (Ger.)  Gesattelt— Saddled. 

Sound  upon  the  goose — A  phrase  originating  in  the  Kansas  trou 
bles,  and  signifying  true  to  the  cause  of  slavery. 

Souse  and  B rouse,  (Ger.  Saus  und  JBraus) — Revelry  and  rioting. 

Splodderin' — Splattering. 

Spook,  (Ger.  Spuk) — A  ghost. 

Sports — Sporting  men. 

Staub,  (Ger.)— Dust. 

Stein,  (Ger.)— Stone. 

Stttle,  (Ger.)— Stillness. 

Stohr— Store. 

Straight  flush — In  poker,  all  the  cards  of  one  suit. 

Strassen,  (Ger.) — Streets. 

Strauss — Name  of  the  celebrated  Viennese  composer. 

Strumpf,  (Ger.) — Stocking. 

Tantzen,  (Ger.)— To  dance. 

Tantz,  (Ger.)— Dance. 

Tarnal— Eternal.. 

Tanl,  taule,  (Ger.)— Dove. 

Taugenix,  TaugenicTits — Good-for-nothing  fellow. 

Theil,  (Ger.)— Part. 

Thoom— Thumb. 

Thusnelda — The  wife  of  Arminius,  (Hermann.) 

Todtengrips,  Todtengerippe — Skeleton. 

Tofe—Vove. 

To  House  (Ger.  zu  Clause) — At  home. 

Tortled — To  tortle;  to  move  off.     From  turtle. 

Touch  the  dirt — Touch  the  road. 

Trow  him  with  ecks — Pelt  him  with  eggs. 

Turnpr,  (Ger.) — Gymnast. 


117 

Turner  Verein,  (Ger.  Turnverein) — Gymnastic  Society. 

Tyfel,  Teufel— Devil. 

Ti/feled,  Verteufelt— Devilish. 

Tijfel-scJinake,  Teufehchnaken — Deviltries  :  also  devil-snake. 

Tij ful- strikes,  Teufels-streiche—Deviistrokes. 

Tij  fill-wards — Devil  wards. 

Tyfelest — From  Teufel :  here  in  the  sense  of  "  best"  or  "  worst." 

Ueber  Stein  and  Schwein,  (Ger.) — Over  stone  and  swine. 

Ulievrus — Oliver,  another  of  the  twelve  Paladins  of  Charlemagne 

who  fell  at  Roncesvalles,  (A  Rowland  for  an  Oliver.) 
Und  lauter g uter  Ding,  (Ger.) — And  of  thoroughly  good  cheer. 
Urbummellied,  (Ger.  vulg.) — -Arch-loafer's  song;  a  student  song. 
Urlied,  (Ger.) — The  song  of  yore. 
Van't  klein  komt  men  tot't  groote,  (Dutch) — Great  things  may  have 

small  beginnings.     (Concordia  res    parvae    cresrunt — Legend 

on  the  Dutch  ducats.) 
Varus — The  Roman  Commander  in  Germany,  conquered  by  Ar- 

minius. 

Verflucht,  (Ger.) — Accursed. 
Verstay,  Verstehen — Understand. 
Vertyfeln,   Verteufeln—To  botch. 
Verfluchter,  (Ger.) — Accursed. 
Verloren,  (Ger.) — Forlorn. 
Versteh,  verstehen  (Ger.) — To  understand. 
Voonderly,  (Ger.)   Wunderlich — Wondrous;  curious. 
Von — One. 

Waechter,  (Ger.)— Watchman. 
Waeldei;  (Ger.)— Woods. 

Wahlcerwandtschaft,  (Ger.) — Elective  affinity;  sympathy  of  souls. 
Wahrsagt,  (Ger.   Wahrsageii) — To  foretell,  soothsay. 
Waidmannsheil,  (Ger.) — Huntsman's  weal,  or  greeting. 
Ward  al  zu  Steine,  (Ger.) — Became  all  stone. 
Ward  zu  Wind,  (Ger.) — Became  a  wind. 
Wechsebalg,  (Ger.) — A  changeling  ;  brat;  urchin. 
Weihnatchtstbnum,  (Ger.) — Christmas  tree. 
Weiknaclitslied,  (Ger.) — Christmas  song. 
Weingeist,  (Ger.) — Vinous  :  ardent  spirit. 
Wein-handle,  (Ger.   Weinhandlunc/} — Wineshop. 
Weinnachtstraum — lit.,    Winenight's     dream;    for     "Weienacht," 

Christmas  dream. 

Wellen  and  Wogen,  (Ger.) — Waves  and  billows. 
Welshhen— Turkey  hen. 
Werden,  Das   Werden — The  becoming  to  be.  ^ 


118 


Wilde  Jagd—WM  hunt. 

Wie  gehts,  (Ger.) — How  goes  it?  how  are  you  ? 
Wilkomm,  (Ger.)— Welcome. 

Windsbraut,  (Ger.  poet.)— Storm;  hurricane ;  gust  of  wind. 
Witz,  (Ger.) — A  sally,  or  witty  saying. 
W-ird,  (Ger.)— Becomes. 
Wised,  (Ger.  Wtisste,  From  Wizzeii) — Knew. 
Wohl,  (Ger.)— Well! 
Wolfsschlucht,  (Ger.)— Wolf's  glen. 
Wonnevol,  Ger.   Wonnevoll) — Blissful. 
TToon,(Ger.   Wunde)— Wound. 
Word-May* — Word-play ;  pun ;  quibble. 
Wurst,  (Ger.)— Sausage. 
Yaeger,  (Ger.) — Huntsman. 
Yaegersmann,  Faegeramqnn — Huntsman. 
Zapfet  aus,  (Ger.)— Tap  the  barrel. 
Zimmer,  (Ger.) — Room. 


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